Taylor Swift's Awful at Moonwalking, Finally Gives Us Reason to Hate Her

Thank god for small favors. Adorable bubblegum princess and imaginary best friend (mine, not yours) Taylor Swift was leaving a building with a very clean garage when she was caught off-guard by the papa-paparazzi. Not willing to give up pictures of herself, Swift attempted a lame-ass moonwalk to get away. Very lovable!

I wish I had more bad things to say about this moonwalk besides the fact that it’s just kind of half-hearted, but I cannot bring myself to say a word against Taylor. Not only because she genuinely seems like the nicest girl in your junior class but because at least she was nice about being photographed? Someone made a joke the other day about how Taylor probably reads Jezebel and I sometimes hope that’s true (as, I’m sure do many of you). In fact, last night when I was high on NyQuil to treat a cold, I thought “I wish that Taylor Swift would come into the comments section and talk to us about her life.” How great would that be? Pretty great! Much better than this awful moonwalk that finally makes it clear that the girl who doesn’t wear short-shorts isn’t perfect after all! (Except, wait, she’s wearing short shorts here. Are you telling me “You Belong With Me” was a lie?) (ARE YOU?) (Oh, apparently that was short skirts. Never mind.)