Oh. My. Gosh, y'all. Perpetual teenager and American hero Taylor Swift is gonna be on Nightline tonight and GMA was nice enough to show us a preview that covers pretty much everything that you'd be tuning in to find out about. And don't worry, it's not some boring fluff piece either. ABC anchor/desperate suck-up Cynthia McFadden asks the tough questions, stuff like "Taylor, how do you deal with the hardships of being wealthy and fortunate?" and "Taylor, how do you deal with all the free stuff you get?" and "Taylor, do you want to act like my daughter for awhile — like pretend, but for realsies? My own daughter hates me, but you could never hate me. Right, Taylor? Right?!"
The interview was full of discoveries. For example, did you know that Swift is one of the only rockstars left in the universe? (It's true — I heard that she recently tore apart a live goat with her own bare hands during a particularly stirring rendition of "Fifteen.")
McFadden recited this Rolling Stone quote:
"She's one of the few genuine rockstars we've got these days with a flawless ear for what makes a song click."
Of course, no Tayborg Swiftbot interview is complete without some chit-chat about her luuurve life. So, Taylor, how are things going with American prince Conor Kennedy?
"I don't talk about my personal life in that great detail. I write about it all in my songs. When I get in an interview, it just sort of feels...it's not as much what I do."
The interview covers a lot a ground, but the main thing to take away from it is that Taylor Swift is all things to all people — she is a girl and yet a woman; she is unconcerned, but not blasé; she is expressive about her personal life, but doesn't talk about her personal life. She is Taylor Swift, your favorite singer/songwriter. Say anything otherwise and you are nothing but a mean, jealous jerk.