Taylor Swift, the capricious god of jam-making and having an emotion, has decided to shift the foundations of the seafloor as a message to mortals that her summer mansion shall not be trifled with.
According to an irate op-ed penned by one of the unfortunate humans who lives beside her, the singer is creating a massive wall of boulders on a public beach without so much as a single permit; she’s also possibly doing damage to the ocean bottom. BUT WHO NEED TRIFLE WITH PERMITS WHEN YOU ARE REARRANGING THE VERY FACE OF THE EARTH? [The Day]
Unfortunately for everyone who appreciates a good feud that mostly centers around the placement of several large rocks, though, the op-ed was pretty factually inaccurate. Taylor Swift got several permits. She is putting the boulders back where they belong (you’re welcome, Mother Earth). The beach is private; it belongs to Taylor Swift. The ocean bottom is totally chill. T-Swift’s honor as a landscape artist remains intact. [The Day, ONTD]
Amanda Seyfried responded to TMZ’s very ill-advised DOG RAPE STORY on Twitter. (The headline, for those of you who don’t closely follow TMZ’s rape jokes feed, was “Amanda Seyfried’s Dog Rapes Other Dog.”) “@tmz -The encounter between Finn and unnamed Labrador was consensual,” Seyfried wrote. “#dangerouswordtomakelightof #hardhittingjournalism #Pulitzer.” Very well-articulated in just three choice hashtags. [Gossip Cop]
Well, this is certainly interesting: tomorrow Lady Gaga will releasing a new version of “Do What U Want,” featuring the vocals of Christina Aguilera in the place of R Kelly. I mean, it’s obviously a response to how well-received the duet was after the two originally performed it on the season finale of The Voice — but, still, part of me wonders if Lady Gaga wants to distance herself from R Kelly after that devastating Village Voice piece cured everyone of “R Kelly rapes and exploits young girls” amnesia. [Just Jared]
- Ariana Grande, no stranger to the dark magicks of the netherworld, says that her Twitter haters are “evil as hell.” [Cosmo]
- Eve just got engaged to Maximillion Cooper, a fashion designer and fancy old-timey car enthusiast. They look so cute together! Yay, congratulations! [E!]
- Michelle Obama tweeted at Robin Roberts, congratulating her on publicly stating that she has a girlfriend. If Michelle Obama ever said “you continue to make us all proud” to me, I would immediately evacuate my bowels (which is one of the reasons she’ll never say it to me). [HuffPo]
- Kate Bosworth‘s wedding pictures are here. Oh, my god, what a relief; I was terrified of the prospect of facing 2014 without having a glimpse in to the Blue Crush actress’ nuptials. [E!]
- ALSO: James Blunt got married. Remember him? You’re welcome if this tender remembrance has gotten “You’re Beautiful” stuck in your head. [Hello]
- Miley Cyrus is styled exactly like a rooster on cover of Love magazine. An edgy rooster. [Gossip Cop]
- Megan Fox never tips less than $20 because she used to work in a smoothie shop and thus “knows the value of a tip.” [Yahoo!]
- This picture of Kanye West skiing is my favorite paparazzi photo of any celebrity in the history of the universe. [Just Jared]
- URGENT: NEW NICKI MINAJ FREESTYLE. [My Pink Friday]
- Miley Cyrus is reportedly worried that Kellan Lutz is using her for fame, seeing as he started dating her immediately before the promotion tour (or whatever it’s called) for Hercules, in which he plays Hercules, began. [Perez Hilton]