Bunnies & Kitties & Squid, Oh My
- Nursing-home kitty Oscar the Cat (aka 'The Grim Reaper' of felines) is predicting nursing-home deaths at a facility in…
Eva Mendes Doesn't Have To Hate Herself 'Cause She Knows She's Hot
- Aw! Eva Mendes says it's easy to get all "critical" of yourself when you're on the red carpet but that she doesn't let…
Things That May Or May Not Surprise You: We Don't Like Bush, We Do Like Harry Potter
- Harry Potter! Yup, we pre-ordered our copy of the last-ever Harry Potter book. And we get to pick it up at 12:01 am…
Bill Clinton: Come Write With Us
- Bill Clinton has begun blogging! Just like us! We wonder if he'll do hungover Friday tomorrow too! [Clinton Foundation]
Oprah Pushing The Finding-A-Moral Agenda A Little Too Hard
- Oprah's golden retriever Gracie died in May after an unfortunate choking incident and still Oprah is talking about it,…
We Wish We'd Bought A 'Free Winona' T-Shirt Way Back When
- Winona Ryder is speaking out now about her shoplifting. Honestly? No one gives a shit. [People]
Simpsons Graffiti On Pagan Fields: Cute, But Where's Homer's Cock?
- We were feeling kinda blue today. Then we saw this. [Boing Boing]
Britney As Whitney? God Help Us.
- Britney Spears to star in remake of The Bodyguard! Oh wait, phew. Joke! [Best Week Ever]
R.I.P. Lady Bird
- America's best-monikered First Lady, Lady Bird Johnson, died this afternoon at the age of 94. She was one of the first…
And Again We Say: Paris Hilton Must Be Stopped
- We said it eight hours ago and we'll say it again: God is dead. Because Paris Hilton has a Teen Choice Award…
Al Gore Not Running For President, Son In Rehab: Coincidence? We Think Not
- Al "I'm The Man Who Was Elected President, But Whatever I'm A Movie Star Now" Gore has "fallen out of love" with…
Christina Aguilera To Bring "Dirrty", "Beautiful" Babe Into The World
- Christina Aguilera is in the family way! Just like with a genie in a bottle, her husband rubbed her the right way. The…
No Jail For Libby, No Hot Wife For Salman, and Pam Anderson Lived To See 40: What Kind Of A World Do We Live In?
- There is no justice in the world: President Bush has commuted Scooter Libby's jail sentence. [MSNBC]
Isaiah Washington Needs To Stick A Sock — Or Some Other Implement — In It
- Isaiah Washington — for the love of God — please keep your mouth shut. The latest from everyone's favorite fired…
Oprah Winfrey Really Is Taking Over The World
- Does she not have enough money already? Oprah Winfrey is opening her own store. [Hollywood Reporter]
This Is Your Cornfield On Coke
- What happens when you're high on coke and eluding cops in a cornfield? Some maize-y shit! [Daily Mail]
Lohan To Rejoin Her Coke-Filled Community One 12-Step At A Time
- Lindsay Lohan signs up for a Promises outpatient program designed to enable her to "transition" back into her…
George Clooney: White Knight To Rich Folk Vacationing in Italy
- George Clooney, champion of rich folk with vacation homes everywhere!, protests new construction developments in a…
John Travolta Can Blow Us. Really.
- John Travolta goes all Tom Cruise and says to 'just say no' to psychiatric drugs. Believe us, we've tried. And all that…
Isaiah Washington Should Maybe Not Feel Quite So Sorry For Himself
- Shamed and fired former Grey's Anatomy cast member/homophobe Isaiah Washington tells the media he is getting by…