Hey Internet. I think we need to talk about what's been happening since it was announced on Friday that Kim Kardashian and Kanye West finally got their much coveted Vogue cover.

Ooooh! British hunk triangle from nine years ago! HOW TITILLATING. As part of the News of the World phone-tapping trial, a voicemail from Sienna Miller to Daniel Craig was played in court. While she was still engaged to Jude Law, Miller apparently left Craig a voicemail telling him, "Hi, it's me. I can't speak, I'm at…

Or, at least her hair is.

Jennifer Lopez — or at least her PR team — is super sorry that she "graciously obliged" to perform a private concert for the catchily-named President of Turkmenistan Gurbanguly Berdimuhamedow, an oppressive, torture-endorsing, Human Rights Watch-provoking, war mongering dictator and Jennifer Lopez fan. A Team Lopez…

As Janet Jackson herself predicted in 2001: Maybe we'll meet at a bar / He'll drive a funky car / Maybe he'll be a Qatari-born retail billionaire / And I'll convert to Islam. Sure enough, rumor has it that Jackson has retired from show business for good and adopted the religion of her husband Wissam al-Mana, who she…

In which Melissa McCarthy, undoubtedly for the umpteeth time, is asked about her weight and how she feels about it: "Pretty much everyone I know, no matter what size, is trying some system. Even when someone gets to looking like she should be so proud of herself, instead she's like, 'I could be another three pounds…

Say good night, Gracie, to Katy Perry's spinning peppermint bra, which has been deemed a liability by her tour insurers. The ban was inspired by a recent wardrobe malfunction, admitted Perry: "My hair got caught in the wheels of my spinning peppermint bra and began to coil around and around. I'm forced to just go with…

Tiny new Kardashian addition Penelope Scotland Disick happened yesterday, the second child (after 2-year-old Mason) for Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick. The 7-lb, 3 oz. baby was delivered "all-naturally" at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center after Kourtney's brief flirtation with water birth. "Scott and I are overjoyed…

Boy oh boy do celebrities ever love talking about auctioning things off for charity. They want you to remember that they're such sweet, kind Disney Princesses that it's hard to see their faces, what with all the birds flying around their heads braiding their hair and basking in their goodness. But did you know that…

Sienna Miller is with child! As soon as we're done cheering, let's also take a moment to breathe a sigh of relief that said child does not belong to her former on-again-off-again flame Jude Law. Instead, the baby daddy is 26-year-old actor Tom Sturridge—whom you may also know as Robert Pattinson's best friend (and,…

Sienna Miller was in Paris over the weekend, hosting a party for French label Lancel, who was celebrating "135 Years of French Légèreté." Damn, that is a lot of "lightness" (or "frivolity" depending on your translation) for a culture that is not generally known for its levity. Case in point: most of the women showed…

Kirstie Alley says she's lost 100 pounds. "I feel like I'm back in my element," she adds. "I honestly didn't even realize what I looked like." She denies going under the knife: "I haven't had plastic surgery, but here's the reason: People do plastic surgery to make you look younger," she said. "I don't think it makes…

Secret sources say that Snoop Dogg "insisted" on receiving a stockpile of watermelon-flavored gum as part of his rider request—requiring staffers to embark on a frantic search for the stuff. Why didn't he just bring his own?

[London, January 3. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

Today in Tweet Beat, Chris Brown has tweeted his foot right into his mouth. Plus, Sienna Miller was sad that Eddie Murphy died until she realized that he isn't dead.