Welcome back to Midweek Madness, in which Margaret and I go on a tabloid-only diet! Today, Ashton's accused of cheating on Demi (again); Snooki talks about her anorexia and body image troubles; and Angelina is ruining her kids' lives.

Ke$ha. No matter what you think of her, you can't argue that the "Tik Tok" singer has managed make herself a topic. And in doing so, she is severing the musical ties that bind. It's a pop-culture Civil War.

[Los Angeles, March 19. Image via WENN.]

[London, February 27. Image via INF]

Kate Moss is three months pregnant, says a paper with a questionable reputation. But!

Straight, Gay or Lindsay Lohan—we can all enjoy a good Lezebel. What is a Lezebel? She's a girl who likes girls who is liked by us girls at Jezebel, get it? Good, to the list!