Putting the very-clever aside, it’s rare for the average person to find the perfect retort after being insulted. I…
No one should be taking a road trip right now, spreading germs and bacteria across the country in the midst of a…
Early on in this period of social distancing, a couple of my co-workers solicited quarantine sex stories from…
Now that it is year 90 of social distancing, I’m working to try and find simple pleasures wherever I can (otherwise,…
If movies have taught me anything, it is that class reunions are a strange exercise in one-upmanship for no…
Statistically speaking, all humans injure themselves at some point in their lifetime. Some more than others. For…
I’ll keep it short and sweet: if you’re social distancing (and you should be), you’re probably spending a lot of…
I consider the 4th of July to be the Super Bowl of American holidays, in that everyone is drunk and dumb, grown men…
No one is getting a summer vacation this year. If you think you are getting a summer vacation this year, you may have…
Sunday is Father’s Day. Normally, I’d use the Hallmark holiday as an excuse to talk about moms, but I think it might…
I haven’t seen many rats lately, which is strange, because I live in New York City. But I’m taking covid-19 very…
A few weeks ago, I interviewed Tara Reid for this website and we commiserated over the fact that after three months…
Recently, I’ve noticed an uptick in Pissing Contest entries relating to roommates—living together can strain…
Sometimes there’s more romance to be found in a platonic love song written for a BFF. Sometimes the connection…
Sunday is Mother’s Day, and what a strange time to celebrate. Even if your relationship with your own mom is…
Look, animals are weird. If you are privileged enough to work remotely during this time, or if you are…
In the past, Pissing Contest has covered the grossest things you’ve seen at work, on public transportation, on an…
Much like your biological family and your co-workers, you can’t really pick your neighbors. Depending on where you…
A few weeks into social distancing, two things have become apparent: no one is totally sure when this thing will end,…