Gaspar Noé’s forthcoming film Love, which premiered at Cannes last month, has already been hailed as “the most sexually explicit film of the year,” featuring a boatload of graphic, unsimulated sex in 3D. Which is especially potent, apparently, when one of the actors ejaculates directly at the camera.
"LaidNYC" purports to be a NY-based pick-up artist; you may know him from past rhetorical standouts like "Don't Marry Women over 25." His recent essay on how much his sperm is worth (a lot) can be summed up in this one prudent declaration: "My seed is liquid gold and I don't give it out like its god damn tap water."…
To swallow or not to swallow: that is the question. You can only really answer it for yourself, but we aim to help you make that decision an informed one. Here, we list every property found in an average splooge—protein, carbs, fat, cholesterol, etc.—and analyze what it means for you to ingest it in terms of…
While regular sugar-filled Coke is focusing on "happy calories" and joy, Diet Coke reminds you that bubbles are sexy, men are sexy and sex is sexy. Also getting sprayed in the face is sexy. Back in 1994, Diet Coke debuted the "Diet Coke Hunk," a well-built construction worker who took off his shirt and guzzled a DC…
Wisconsin Congressman, Romney running mate, and widow's peak cultivator Paul Ryan has again cosponsored the Sanctity of Human Life Act, which would grant "all the legal and constitutional attributes and privileges of personhood" to a "one-celled human embryo," even before implantation. The only problem is that a…
There are a myriad of good reasons to use condoms — preventing the spread STD's, staving off pregnancy... erm, the smell of rubber and lube gets you hot. But using condoms primarily as a way to prevent explosive ejaculations of sex-juice from landing on a partner's face during climax? According to this totally gross…
In some parts of the world, there has been a considerable decline in sperm quality and quantity in recent years, according to reports from sperm banks as well as evidence from scientific research. The cause is not yet known, but some are pointing pollutants and a "modern Western lifestyle," which includes cellphones…
It turns out that it doesn't matter how fast sperm can swim when it comes to fertilizing an egg—it's all about its length. By studying the ejaculate traits of fruit flies (which must be the teeniest load on the face of this earth), scientists found that sperm that are longer and slower are more likely to fertilize an…
No amount of heavy duty feminism can alleviate the fact that when it comes to child creation, all a guy really must do is not ride a bike too much, ejaculate successfully into a fertile vagina, and then maybe hand out cigars. Meanwhile, the woman spends nine months growing a tiny, helpless proto-human inside her…
While our manufacturing sector's kind of in the toilet, mining is giving people cancer and causing earthquakes, and our tech industry is running out of ideas for one-button devices to sell to yuppies, at least one sector of the American economy is running full steam — or rather, full balls — ahead: the sperm…
Gangs of women in Zimbabwe have been capturing male hitchhikers — sometimes by drugging them, other times by holding them up with guns, knives, or LIVE SNAKES — and raping them so they can harvest their sperm for good luck. No, you didn't read that wrong. From the Telegraph:
Women have been clued into the fact that their diets affect their fertility for a long while now, but a new study has found that what men are eating might matter just as much. The researchers found that the kinds of fat men ate made a difference in the quality of their sperm. For instance, saturated fat found in the…
Chocolate and intimacy go hand in hand. It's often (incorrectly) thought to be an aphrodisiac; it's associated with Valentine's day; surveys claim that women would prefer chocolate to sex — as though they were interchangeable. In this Australian ad for Zokoko, choclocated is licked, smeared, drizzled and penetrated.…
One California man is redefining the DoubleShot infused specialty drink by including his spooj in a female coworker's drink.
To follow up on Dickweed (shown) the girls at BleachBlack have announced their second nail polish: Jizz. It is a surprisingly pretty pearly, milky white. Unfortunately, the $12.95 price tag might make you gag. [Refinery 29]
You really must be careful when using the words "come," "on," and "meat" in a food advertisement about a mayonnaise substitute. [Vintage Ads]
It used to be that this venerable feature was inspired by the news, hangovers, and/or funny pictures. But The Huffington Post's Jason Linkins and I have a new muse — or, to be fair, a couple of million of new muses harmed in the filming of SNL's digital short "Jizz In My Pants" (embedded after the jump). There's just…
It's time for another installment of Pot Psychology, the advice column in which everyone's problems are solved with an "herbal" remedy. (Remember, kids: Don't do drugs!) In this episode, the wind beneath my wings, Rich, and I dole out advice on stuff like oral yeast infections, Christian friends, and excessive jizz.…
It might seem like we're about to beat a dead horse, but we're not, promise! See, Jezebel got a shout out on CNN's Reliable Sources yesterday morning regarding the whole Redbook cover thing. And that's great and all, but more notably, host Howard Kurtz inadvertently gave the site a new nickname when he referred to us…
