Nope: John Mayer, “I Guess I Just Feel Like” – John Mayer sighs a heavy sigh at his breakfast table, dropping his copy of the New York Times Sunday edition into his lap. His orange juice sits before him. His bowl of Wheaties barely touched. It’s another day of terrible headlines as the global world order begins to…

N, strike this down: Taylor Swift, Earth, Wind & Fire’s “September” cover — It’s been a hellish week, and it’s now made more hellish by Swift’s mellowed Spotify-curated version of one of my TOP FIVE pick-me-up songs, which she instead turned it into a soulless, acoustic prom ballad. Don’t subject yourself to this on a…

In case you were wondering whether or not Jason Derulo would date Nicki Minaj, here is your answer: he would. Yes. He would, if he were single.

Jason Derulo has accused America’s shittiest major airline (unless we’re counting Spirit) of “racial discrimination” after an incident involving checked bags, $4000, and literal requests to “turn this plane around.”

In today’s Tweet Beat, Bette Midler does not agree with Donald Trump, Jason Derulo tweets a totally normal tweet and Sia is a big Katy Perry fan.

Y: Alessia Cara’s “Wild Things” is a worthy theme song for people who like to stare blankly at so-called cool kids, and it’s the perfect follow-up to the antisocial-butterfly message of “Here.” It’s hard not to feel a kinship to lyrics like, “We will leave the empty chairs/to those who say we can’t sit there.” [Fader]

Over the course of her effervescent, heart-tugging, clinically professional two-and-a-half hour victory lap in the swampy stadium twilight of Nationals Park in Washington, DC, the 25-year-old singer-songwriter-superstar Taylor Swift reminded me of many things, including: an animated mannequin, a Rockette on XR…

Tinder is introducing “Verified Profiles” so that famous people can use the dating app more efficiently and also be just as miserable as the rest of us in knowing that there are, at once, way too many dating options in their vicinity and not one person out there in the world who will love them unconditionally.

Y: Continuing his tradition of singing odes to bad chicks in the most loving and trappiest ways possible, Fetty Wap made a song about how fine and wonderful his shorty is, singing, “Right after sex, I don’t leave/ I just hold her” (Nice gesture). And, “When I tell her I’m hungry, she say, ‘Boy get on your knees.’” Aw,…

Y: June is tickling our backs, which means summer song candidates will be jostling for chart position like crazy. Icona Pop’s “Emergency” and its drunken trumpet riffs kinda give me “Happy” vibes, which means I’ll hate it by, like, Monday. [Billboard]

Y: Little Mix is the shit and I challenge you not to body roll to “Black Magic,” a song about hitting guys with that voodoo good-good. It’s ’80s pop goodness and also sounds like it could be the theme to a Disney Channel teen witch series. [Billboard]

Calm down, Twitter: this is NOT Jason Derulo falling down the stairs at tonight’s Met Gala—but rather, some dude who fell down the stairs at Cannes in 2011.

A little after 10 am on Monday morning, I logged into Tinder after an extended time away with a very important purpose: to match with Jason Derulo so I could watch his new video "Want To Want Me," which he announced last week he'd be debuting on the app. Unfortunately, my relationship with Jason (and–briefly–his…

At the end of every year, it seems like our society is allowing more and more room for hot garbage to fill our pop charts. We say this not as haters of pop music—we are not one of those finger-waggy assholes who thinks that Katy Perry, for example, does not make "real" music because she doesn't write and produce all…

Want a baby to look exactly like Angelina Jolie? The star isn't going to be giving you any of hers anytime soon, but TMZ reports that desperate parents (desperate for their kids to look like Jolie, so rich desperate parents) are willing to pay thousands upon thousands per egg in order to get a little Lara Croft in…