Unfortunately for, uh, all citizens of Earth, the Girls reality show is apparently underway: ABC has picked it up and already chosen a star, a 25-year-old publicist named Hailey Glassman whose achievements include, hand to God, dating Jon Gosselin and being on an episode of My Life is A Lifetime Movie. She's also…

Today in Tweet Beat, Lil Wayne is Tweeting remotely, while Q-Tip is sorta biting Kanye's Tweet style, and sorta failing at it.

Today in Tweet Beat, Elizabeth Taylor addresses rumors that she will marry for the ninth time, Hailey Glassman is looking forward to celebrating 4/20, and Marlon Wayans stands up for celebrity Twitter rights.

Today in Tweet Beat, a shoe company pays Kristen Bell to go barefoot for the day to raise awareness about shoelessness, Dita Von Teese explains the torture of glamor, and Andrew WK, age 10.

Today in Tweet Beat, Jim Carrey and Jenny McCarthy are "grateful" but not dating, Diablo Cody is pregs, and Michael Jackson's dermatologist claims that MJ didn't like to shoot up.

Today in Tweet Beat, Spencer Pratt asks followers for help on what's going on with health care, Martha Stewart gives her horse acupuncture, and Adrianne Curry has rape fantasies.

Today in Tweet Beat, Hailey Glassman is trying her hand at acting, this day in history, Debbie Gibson filmed her "Foolish Beat" video, and celebs celebrate St. Patrick's Day.

Today in Tweet Beat, check out the girls of America's Next Top Model cycle 14. Also, Hailey Glassman makes fun of Jon Gosselin's penis size again, this time, with a picture. (Link NSFW and NSF souls!)