Doesn't it seem like Dear John came out, like yesterday? Whatever, The Last Song is here now! And whether or not Nicholas Sparks' shmaltz will leave you weeping, Miley and co's clothes? Certainly will.

The "2009 Totally Texty Teen Choice Awards Pre-Party," held last night in Hollywood, was exactly like what it sounds like: horrifying. Don't these kids have parents? Also: get off my lawn!