Dude, what is this nasty green stuff, and why do you keep putting it in my mouth? Do it again, and I am going to GROWL at you. I am serious.

IKEA seems so friendly and efficient and non-threatening—unless you consider taking over the décor of houses worldwide to be aesthetically threatening—but it seems there might be a darker side to everyone's go-to furniture retailer. The Swedish company is being investigated in France for hiring private detectives to…