Syria's Charming First Lady Says She's the 'Real' Dictator

Illustration for article titled Syria's Charming First Lady Says She's the 'Real' Dictator

In the latest revelation from the leaked Assad e-mails (that unending font of terribleness), British-born Asma al-Assad-First lady and Real Housewife of Syria-makes it clear who really wears the pants in this dictatorship. According to the Daily Telegraph:

Asma al-Assad, the British-born wife of Syria's president, told a friend that she was the "real dictator" in the family, according to leaked emails that suggest she holds a cherished place in the leader's inner circle.


First of all, good one, Asma! Because making your husband load the dishwasher or come home early from his poker game is JUST LIKE murdering 8,000 people. Second of all, British-born? That's almost as awkward for the British as the time Angela Lansbury married Mussolini. And third of all, I'm sure he does his own dictating in HER inner circle too, if you know what I mean! (WHAT I MEAN IS HER VAGINA.) Sigh. The full quote:

"As for listening – I am the REAL dictator, he has no choice ..." she wrote on Dec 14. Her use of the word in reference to her husband suggests she understands how others regard him.

You know how it is, ladies! He's the boss…when I LET him be! Am I right? Har har! Could someone bring my car around? It's the Audi with the license plate holder that says, "I'd Rather Be Killing Innocent People at Nordstrom."

A couple more notable details:

Only fleetingly does she let any strain show. On Feb 3, she wrote to a friend: "Also been meeting a lot of families of victims which is hard but also gives me strength (or makes me stronger)."

Ummm…why exactly does meeting with the families of people her husband killed give her strength? Does she eat them and gain their powers?

The accounts were stopped a few days later when the Assads realised they had been exposed.


Sure. Because they wouldn't want to get any bad press.

Image via Getty.



House Milkshaker of Daftbollocks

This is not a new revelation. She comes from Acton and used call herself Emma. Her parents were immigrants but paid for her to go to an expensive private school. The same school as Anna Wintour and Katherine Mansfield actually. She is no slum child and fits in the upper class world very well. Making her assertions all the more worrying indeed.