Susan G. Komen's Downfall, by the Numbers

Illustration for article titled Susan G. Komen's Downfall, by the Numbers

The story of the collapse of Susan G. Komen's brand among the young, mobilized and progressive isn't as much a story of one organization's downfall as it is another's gain. In the days since Komen announced they'd no longer be providing support to Planned Parenthood, the family planning provider has made out like a bandit, Komen's been left with egg on its face, and Komen supporters are just about universally mad and confused. Let's quantify this shitshow.


Amont of money Planned Parenthood raised in the 3 days since it was announced that Susan G Komen was ceasing contributions to Planned Parenthood, most of which was from small donations, according to Planned Parenthood President Cecile Richards: $3 million.

That amount in Bangladeshi Taka: 253,125,000.00

Inflation-adjusted value of $3 million in 1982, the year Komen for the Cure was founded. $1,345,855.95

Amount of grant money Komen for the Cure had given Planned Parenthood over the last year or so: $680,000

Number of Ferrari Enzos you could buy for that much money: 1

Percentage more individual donors gave after Komen ceased giving funds to Planned Parenthood: 400%

Number of years worth of birth control pills you can buy with $3 million, assuming birth control costs $50 per month: 5,000

Number of women helped by Planned Parenthood's breast care program: 170,000

Number of women who have to fit into the overflow facility if you tried to put all the women Planned Parenthood has helped in Pyongyang's May Day Stadium, the world's largest stadium: 20,000


Number of individual donors who gave money to Planned Parenthood since Susan G. Komen for the Cure announced they'd be revoking funds: 10,000

How large an area in Wyoming those individuals would take up, if they were spread out according to the state's average population density: 1709 square miles.


Amount of money LIVESTRONG has donated to Planned Parenthood's breast health initiative since the Komen announcement: $100,000

Number of Facebook comments on a Komen for the Cure post of Nancy Brinker's interview with Andrea Mitchell: 1,870


Rough likelihood that those comments expressed positive, warm feelings for Brinker or Komen (estimate): 20%

Illustration for article titled Susan G. Komen's Downfall, by the Numbers

Percentage of donations Komen actually spends on research: 20%

Number of stars given to Susan G. Komen for the Cure by users of Guidestar, down from a 4 star rating before the charity announced they were defunding Planned Parenthood. <2


Number of horror movies that Netflix predicts I'd rate fewer than 2 stars, including such titles as Bachelor Party in the Bungalow of the Damned, 2001 Maniacs: Field of Screams, Cannibal Suburbia, Vapid Shallow Models Must Die, Grizzly Rage, and Retarded.: 94

Number of phone calls any representative of Komen made to Cecile Richards, Planned Parenthood's President, letting her know of the decision before Richards found out about it by reading it online: 0


Number of calls back from Komen Richards has gotten since trying to reach them after reading of their decision: 0

Years that the telephone has been in existence: 136

Number of days AskMen thinks you should wait to call a woman: 7

Likelihood that literally no one at Komen knows how to use a telephone, or that anyone is relying on for etiquette advice: 0.001%

Illustration for article titled Susan G. Komen&#39;s Downfall, by the Numbers

Number of women who are diagnosed with breast cancer every year: >200,000

Number of women cured by useless politicking, lying, and doubletalk from charities that are supposed to be helping them: 0



But how much did Komen rake in from pro-lifers over the past few days?