Suri Cruise Totally To Blame For All Extravagant Children

It’s true! Or else, why would the Daily Mail say it? Indeed, the whole phenomenon of buying stupidly expensive duds for kids who get them filthy and then outgrow them a week later has been dubbed the “Suri Cruise Effect:”

TSCE has swept England which, apparently irresistibly compelled by the 3-year-old’s Scientologist’s mini-heels and extensive wardrobe of designer originals, is now blindly following suit with their own kids. According to a new survey, “parents are spending more than £700 on childrenswear every year.” The horrifying phenomenon of “trend-led childrenswear” has also, apparently, been influenced by such clothes-ponies as the boho Harlow Madden, the chicly iconoclastic Kingston Rossdale, and the ironic street style of Romeo Beckham. In other words, adults are studying the clothes of infants as closely as they once did the dubious sarongs and boyfriend jeans of their parents. (We’re inclined to include the rise of ever-younger tween culture and its attendant trappings of market-driven adulthood, but what do we know?) One child conspicuously missing from the parade of fashion icons? Shiloh Jolie-Pitt: tiny cross-dressers, apparently, do it on the cheap.

The Suri Cruise Effect: How Parents Spend Over £700 A Year To Keep Their Children In Style [Daily Mail]