The night mostly belongs to Coco Chanel, but also a little bit to Bill Clinton, since it's his birthday, too. In other words, if this night were a pie, Coco Chanel would get pretty much all of it and Bill Clinton would get that first "test piece" whose crust gets left behind in the pan.
So my boyfriend and I had a very long talk today. Basically we've been in crisis mode for over a year with his mom's illness and death so our boundaries have gotten weird. We're also at a transitional point in our lives where we're not sure if we'll end up even in the same state for grad school/law school. Shit got real, basically.
I love him so much and we had talked about spending our lives together/marriage and now he wants to dial back the 'super serious always thinking of the future' aspect of our relationship. It makes me sad. I do understand though because no one knows what the future brings. I think a lot of it has to do with losing his mom; it's true that nothing is permanent but it was still really hard to have this conversation.
I'd be willing to do long distance, but I'm looking at psych PhD programs, which take 5-6 years to complete. That's a really long fucking time to be apart. We don't know what will happen but the reality is that we could break up.
Any Jezzies that can commiserate re: death, long distance, boundaries, co-dependence, please please do.
I have literally 2 friends because I went to college out of state and by the time I moved back, all my old friends moved away. My best friend just broke up with her jerky boyfriend of 5 years this afternoon so she probably doesn't want to hear about my relationship right this second.