Study: Men Die Sooner Than Women Because They Are Fragile Flowers

There are many theories that attempt to explain why women generally live longer than men in every single age group, from womb to super old status. Turns out that women do not just win the longevity race because we’re powerhouses, but because men are fragile weaklings susceptible to death. Ohhh.

The newest theory outlined by Barbara Kalben in her “Why Men Die Younger” paper states that “mere maleness” and the inherent weakness that comes with maleness is the real reason why they die young. She quoted an old-school author named “Allen” from the year of 1934, who said the following:

“The factors which are usually set down in explanation of the greater mortality in males are overwork, alcoholism, venery, tobaccoism, exposure to the elements, industrial hazards, and irregular habits of eating and sleeping. …

“For each explanation of the lack of inherent vitality of the male there are objections, but these do not influence the fact; the male is, by comparison with the female, a weakling at all periods of life from conception to death. Venery, alcoholism, exposure, overwork, and various other factors may influence the susceptibility to disease and the greater mortality of the adult male, but they are only straws placed on the greater burden of his sex-linked weakness.

“There seems to be no doubt that, speaking comparatively, the price of maleness is weakness.”

This aligns somewhat with the “boys will be boys” statement that almost always follows after some boy decides that it would be a great idea to chug soy sauce or something like that. But I’m not 100% sure if maleness = weakness.

Perhaps if women followed M.I.A.’s brilliant advice to “live fast, die young, bad girls do it well,” women would also die younger. Or perhaps the inherent pain that comes with being a woman — periods, pregnancy, birthing — makes them stronger?