Study: Emoji Users Have More Sex, Better Orgasms

Emoji: You either love them or hate them. But it’s a little bit better if you love them, a new study has found. That’s because single people who use emoji allegedly have more sex and women who use certain emoji report that they reach orgasm faster. But what comes first — the orgasm or the emoji?

Match.com conducted a study of 5,600 singles in America and found a correlation between emoji use and more robust sex lives. If that sounds ridiculous, that’s probably because you don’t use emoji when you text. While the study didn’t exactly find that those of us who eschew the use of happy faces and embarrassed mice in typed conversations have a stick emoji up our butt symbol, Dr. Helen Fisher, a cultural anthropologist who helped lead the study says that emoji can help express sentiment when regular words that aren’t a tiny picture of someone painting their nails “fall flat.”

I can’t say I disagree, but what happens when you’re on a date and can’t use the happy poop emoji to express “I’m so excited I could shit?” You can’t just say that out loud, right? Who’s going to sex you if you do?

From The Daily Mail:

‘Technology is dramatically changing how we court, but it can’t change the brain systems for romance’, she [Helen Fisher] writes for Match.com.

Indeed, around 50per cent of men and women agree that emojis ‘show personality’ and around 35per cent of both sexes say they make ‘expressing feelings’ easier.

Just don’t spell your feelings wrong. The study also found that 54per cent of single women and 36per cent of men find misspellings and incorrect grammar to be the biggest text message turn-offs.

See, that would be a problem for me. No matter how cute I would hypothetically find emoji, I would probably bolt the first time someone used “their” wrong or referred to me as “u” versus spelling the entire word out. But then I would also not be having as much sex as those people in their 20s, 30s and 40s who are having more sex than ever (on a monthly basis).

Fisher told Time that women who used kiss emoji more often tended to reach “orgasm faster with familiar partners.” This could be, Time reports, because these are women who look for partners who are good communicators. I just hope that none of these people are responding to long and personal texts with emoji, though. It might be because I’m not single, but my partner once responded to a romantic text I wrote on our anniversary with the eggplant emoji and didn’t have sex for three whole days! That wouldn’t have been the case if he’d used a GIF.