Student Petitions Slutoween Store to Carry a Few Non-Slutty Costumes

High school senior Maya is fed up with her local halloween superstore, Party City, only carrying slutty slut costumes for sluts. She’s fine that the slut costumes exist, but she wants some fucking CHOICE. Maybe she just wants to be a meatball, and not a sexy meatball. Give her the regular meatball costume, Party City. Give us all the regular meatball costume.

She writes in her petition:

While perusing the Party City website, we came across a theme in women’s costumes – tight and small. We are dismayed by the prevalent sexism and lack of costume choices for women in Party City stores. To start, there are no popular superhero costumes (Batman, Captain America, Batgirl, etc) that are not skin tight, high hemmed, and/or with low necklines. Comic book women are notoriously underdressed or clothed in latex, but even then, you can see their muscles (see recent Batgirl issues for reference). Although the men’s costumes have padded muscles for the costume illusion, women’s costumes (even those imitating male characters) just have very short skirts. This blatant sexualizing of the character to fit a woman is unreasonable. While men get to actually don the character’s uniform, women wear dresses with character icons on them. There’s no reason why women can’t wear Batman’s uniform with the pants. In addition, a glance at the “women’s careers” section makes it clear that the only job for a woman is a prostitute. There are no police, only “Please, arrest me.” No doctors, only “sexy nurse.” The uniforms that actually resemble that of a doctor, astronaut, chef, and so on, are found in the men’s.

Give ’em hell!

She told us:

We ask not that the company gets rid of its current costumes, because a lot of women do like to express themselves that way, but to also include actual career outfits in their “women’s careers” section (like they do for men) for those who do not want to go the sexy route. And, we want to call them out on their addressing of “women’s careers.”

Maybe with teens like this, I won’t have to invest so heavily in a fallout shelter for when the water and race wars begin. And with that, I’m back to sewing the chimpanzee to my Jane Goodall costume.

(Also, if you’re gonna have that sexy meatball, you better sell this costume right here. ACK, never mind fuggedaboutit.)