Not content with simply swinging around your status bag and walking in your status shoes and and flashing your status bling? Now you can barf up your status meal! Yes for the true blue fashionista comes a culinary experience that lets your innards and your friends know that if you have to ask you can't afford it. Dolce & Gabbana (left), Bulgari, Cavalli, Gucci, Trussardi, and Armani have all opened eateries in Milan recently. Meaning, invariably, that advertisers will be taking editors there and vice versa for one big bad masturbatory binge during Milan Fashion Week, which starts today. But what, uh, does the food behind the brand actually taste like? Eh, apparently nothing much. What you need to know, after the jump.
Dolce & Gabbana Gold:
A supermodel could survive for a week on the Milanese veal cutlet we ordered. And what's this? A side of roast potatoes? The portions were so large that they obscured the Gold monogram on our plate.
Trussardi Alla Scala Cafe:
[W]e could have bought this sandwich with a small salad anywhere. I guess we're here for the location.
Mr. Matsuhisa has made a career out of doing very little — keeping food true to its origins and not overworking it.
Here, the food actually might be the main attraction. The bread basket holds five different types, from olive-and walnut to multigrain, and they are worth every carb-filled mouthful.
Just Cavalli Cafe:
[T]he food is served simply, without any Cavalli flash, on plain china. The staff says the bar sees the most traffic.
"The bar sees the most traffic" is a euphemism for "don't eat the food," isn't it?