Staten Island Man Shoots Himself To Impress His Ex, Blames It On Two Black Men

You all know the story. Guy gets dumped by his girlfriend, guy shoots himself in the arm because that’s the number one way to get her back, yadda yadda.

I know, I know. Tale as old as time. But finally, this one has a twist.

Then hapless romeo David Bovino, 30, compounded the situation by lying to cops, telling them two black men had mugged and shot him, according to police sources.

Bovino told police the so-called robbery occurred about 2 a.m. at a bus stop at the corner of Hylan Boulevard and Cornelia Avenue, at the entrance to Wolfe’s Pond Park.

When police responded to a 911 call of a person shot, Bovino was being tended to by emergency medical technicians, according to an NYPD source familiar with the investigation.

Bovino claimed he’d been approached by two black men who “emerged from the wooded area” and demanded his cash, the source said. Bovino told police he struggled with his assailants, and was shot in the arm before they disappeared back into the woods, the source said.

Detectives found the robbery story fishy, and it fell apart upon further questioning, sources said.

“He had broken up with his girlfriend,” said one source. “He wanted sympathy.”

The police source said Bovino may have recruited two people to do the shooting – and instructed them to graze him only.

Bovino was arrested and charged with filing a false report and reckless endangerment, an NYPD spokesman said.

Wow. Talk about giving her a reason to stay —”My boyfriend is so sweet! He was so upset when I broke up with him that he shot himself in the arm! Awww, I know! I’m the luckiest girl in the whole world!”— and then immediately giving her (another) reason to go running in the other direction.

At the very least, she’s bound to win more than a few rounds of “My Ex Was Crazier Than Yours.”