Squirt Guns Banned, Hand Guns Welcome at GOP Convention

Illustration for article titled Squirt Guns Banned, Hand Guns Welcome at GOP Convention

Are you going to the Republican National Convention in Tampa this August? Do you have a handgun that you simply cannot put down? Well, I've got some good news for you, law abiding gun toter: you can go right ahead and handgun until you're blue in the face, because concealed handguns will be allowed in the convention if you've got a license. Bad news, though, if you're a fun-loving adolescent at heart: if you were planning on bringing your Super Soaker squirt gun you're SOL — water guns are not allowed at the convention, probably because if Ann Coulter accidentally gets wet, she melts.


The puzzling handgun allowance/ water gun ban is partially thanks to Florida state law that bars the banning of concealed weapons, and Governor Rick Scott's proclamation that preventing convention attendees from packing heat would be an infringement on their second amendment rights. The mayor of Tampa, anticipating the headache securing the convention will be, had requested that guns be banned from the city during the opposite-Woodstalk that is the Republican Party's officialest of official gatherings, but was denied.

Other banned objects: glass bottles, shields, sticks, and poles, which pretty much guarantees that there will be no LARPing in Tampa in late August.



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I can't help but chuckle over the thought of these assholes blowing holes in one other trying to hit a rainbow flag-carrying streaker running through the lobby.

Because streaking tragedies could be prevented if everyone was armed.