Why are college girls who "forget" to use condoms less depressed than the ones that do? Is it because the sex is better? Because more dudes will do it with them? Is it because guys are nicer to them in bed since they don't make them wear condoms? Is it because the hassle of dealing with getting condoms and remembering to open up new ones distracts from the main event and gets everyone a little impatient? (Sorta like how inserting code into our posts, or having to add fucking pictures, makes us less inclined to enjoy our workdays and by extension more malicious to our fellow humans and BTW, sorry Anna for being such a fucking grouch today?)

Is it because girls who don't always insist on condoms have run some sort of risk assessment in those collegiate, Natty-Light-addled brains of theirs, and realize that sex is one of the few areas in which giving into one's more impulsive, lazier and more hedonistic propensities isn't always going to have super bad long-term consequences? No WAIT! It must be because semen has MAGICAL ADDICTIVE POWERS!


Alright, alright, we did this post after reading this on Feministing and before realizing that the study "Does Semen Have Antidepressant Properties?" โ€” even though it remains the most-emailed article on the Psychology Today website โ€” is five years old. But we looked up the study's author, Gordon G. Gallup and discovered that, well, not much appears to have happened with his career since he published the groundbreaking work. We can only assume it's way distracting having to service all those depressed young researchers suffering from "semen withdrawal."

Sperm: The New Crack [Feministing]
Crying Over Spilled Semen [Psychology Today]