Why I'm Dumping You: A Complete List

Illustration for article titled Why I'm Dumping You: A Complete List

Of unknown provenance, this breakup list has been going viral, though the sheer quantity and absurdity of the listed offenses draws its legitimacy into question. That said, if this Dear John list is real, we're not quite sure how the now-defunct relationship ever got past the first sign of a non-ironic airbrushed t-shirt.

Then again, perhaps you've dated worse?

[Via CupofZup.com]

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Speaking of reasons why I'm dumping you...

I would never dump my husband over this(NOW, if I'd noticed when we were dating... who knows), but his table manners are atrocious. I was raised in a Miss Manners household, so I know it is extremely inappropriate to comment on another person's manners, but... I feel like I really need to address:

1. swooping in for a bite of food so that your face is 3" above your dinner plate

2. fork biting

3. holding a fork and knife in a crazy manner that forces your elbows into your neighbor's face

We've been together for years and I am somehow just noticing this. Is there ANY way to address/correct this without completely humiliating him?