A two-paragraph blog post on Style dot com asserts that "Stick and Poke Tattoos Are the New Septum Piercings." Let's nip this in the bud right now: nah, son. NAH.

Septum piercings, Style.com writes, were a Thing in 2014, a statement with which I cannot argue (although the new wave of people getting them for Fashion in 2014 were about a year late on that tip—recall this, and this, etc). So now, using evidence that model Cat McNeil has a stick-and-poke tat, as does... their photo editor... Style's prediction is that these types of DIY tattoos are going to be that new hotness for 2015. A stick and poke is pretty self-explanatory: the kind of tattoo done freestyle by hand with some ink and a needle (sometimes a legit tattoo needle, more often with a crappy sewing needle or safety pin).

First of all, I must dispute the notion that two makes a trend—every writer, from the most nascent J-School dropout to the people at the New York Times, knows that one must have three examples to make a trend, even when you are attempting to predict it.

Secondly, practically every mildly rebellious kid who was ever in high school already has at least one stick-and-poke tattoo anyway.

Thirdly, do not give yourself a stick-and-poke tattoo as an adult because they are very dangerous! Even with boiled/quasi-sterilized needles, home tattooees are putting themselves at risk of infectious diseases, including skin infections.

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Also, stick-and-poke tats are the easiest way to get an embarrassing, shitty-looking tattoo that you will really, really hate, and tattoos—unlike septum piercings—last forever. If you need further evidence, feel free to direct yourself to Fuck No Stick and Poke, a Tumblr exposing some of the worst of these body-art infractions. In short: if you're going to get a tattoo, just get a real one by a licensed professional who has the proper instruments with which to clean her needles and safely administer art you won't feel embarrassed about in three years?

Image via motuwe/Shutterstock.