Soon We Might Have Shorter Life Expectancies Than Our Fat Sitcom Husbands

Illustration for article titled Soon We Might Have Shorter Life Expectancies Than Our Fat Sitcom Husbands

While research suggests that women will, on average, still outlive men by four years (the average is 66.1 to 81.6 years for men and 73.5 to 86 years for women), the most recent study done by the Institute for Health Metrics and Evaluation, a health research center at the University of Washington, says that the American female's lifespan is improving at a slower rate than men's for a number of reasons, particularly a lack of attention to potentially fatal medical—epecially cardiological—issues (increased heart blockage in female smokers, a lack of attention to heart disease in general). Another reason: Some physicans don't take women as seriously when they appear with symptoms, writing them off as hyperbolic hysterics, which is ridiculous, am I right, ladies? Am I right, ladies? #amirightlayyyydeeeees???! What? My brain is full of handbags and earrings! She's a witch! Burn her!

Incredibly, in some areas, female life expectancy is even shorter than it was 20 years ago. Based on data grouped by age, sex and county across the nation from 1989 to 2009, it determines that life expectancy for men improved by an average of 4.6 years, but only by 2.7 years for women. Women's life expectancy improvement began its decline in 1999 and was first seen in 166 U.S. counties (notably 84% of Oklahoma's, 58% of Tennessee's and 33% of Georgia's). So, like... don't have a heart attack in Oklahoma, gals, and furthermore, don't go to any of these places, ever.


Women lag in life-expectancy gains [USA Today]

Image via Rido/Shutterstock.

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My Chinese doctor has told me that because women detox through eliminating toxins in their blood when they menstruate each month, we generally live longer. Last year I contracted parasite when I had glandular fever. (I had no idea I had glandular fever) My male GP didn't seem to take me seriously and didn't see the connection between glandular fever and the ingestion of the toxo plasmosis parasite, even though he had the test results in front of him. In fact he was more curious to know if I had a cat! I was very ill for about 7 months and it wasn't until the female Chinese doctor looked at my blood test results that she immediately saw the connection. She has been treating me with a combination of herbs, acupuncture and cupping and the results are amazing. Detoxing to this level has been pretty ugly!!

We women need to be vigilant and very proactive about our health because even good male doctors can be dismissive.