Someone FINALLY Created That Solid Gold Boob Ring You Always Wanted

A depressing thing about being a human is that, in most cases, the only place on your body that has breasts on it is your chest. Even worse, none of those breasts possess nipples made of the finest diamonds, nor are they made of 18k rose gold. Ugh, what is the point of even being alive? CURSE THIS FILTHY PRISON OF FLESH.

It’s ok, calm down, everyone — a genius has finally fixed this oversight on evolution’s part by crafting a lil’ set of golden breasts that you can wear around your finger as a ring. It only costs $6,225! Did I mention the nipples are made of diamonds? Quick! Buy one for every finger!

Ha, just kidding, don’t buy one for every finger, that would be preposterous — you need to save some digits for the collection’s enamel butt rings.