It has recently come to my attention that Matt Damon somehow grew a man bun in a month and I have many, many questions.
BuzzFeed brought this intriguing matter to light, noting that Damon’s hair has seemingly grown many inches in just over a month, causing him to go from this average-ass haircut you see below to a man resembling a Revolutionary war re-enactor signing autographs in a fancy suit.
Here is a picture of Matt Damon from July 28, discussing his new movie Jason Bourne.
You’ll notice that Damon’s hair looks like his hair normally does. Nothing about this photo hints at the fact that less than a month later, he will have sprouted enough hair to gather into a respectable “ponytail” seemingly overnight. Is it a miracle of modern science? A carefully constructed wig? Did he go HAM on the Viviscal, spurring his follicles to suddenly produce inches of lank hair?
Something about this entire situation feels fishy, so I did a little investigative work. Last summer, Damon debuted a ponytail of similar length, style and texture.
Upon first glance, one might think that this bun is the same as 2016's iteration, but closer inspection and further research reveal that last year’s version of this questionable hairstyle was the result of “700 hair extensions” for his controversial role in the upcoming film The Great Wall. All of that checks out. Let’s get a closer look at this new one, hmm?
That’s not his real hair. That is clearly a clip-on man bun plopped on the back of his head, NBD. But why? Is he going though A Thing? Is this an attempt to cross-promote The Great Wall while also doing press for Jason Bourne? Is this the beginning of a mid-life crisis that will maybe result in a back tattoo and some questionable choices like his buddy Ben Affleck?
My intentions are pure, Matt Damon. I just want to know. What’s going on, buddy? Are you okay?