Some people are always going on about how much they love chocolate, that it’s so good they want it injected directly into their blood stream. “Give me a hit of that sweet, sweet chocolate!” they scream.
So when I learned from the Washington Post today that snortable chocolate is a thing now, I didn’t bat an eye. My first thought was: of course, I know this, I’ve alway known this. My second: wait, should I have already been doing this?
The team behind Coco Loko, a chocolatey powder being peddled as a drug-free stimulant for $12.50 a bottle (they sell more than 40,000 of these per month!), would have you believe that snorting chocolate is a novel idea. Coco Loko’s Orlando-based parent company, Legal Lean—which sounds like an illegal weight-loss brand—claims the product contains cacao powder as well as ingredients commonly found in energy drinks, such as gingko biloba, taurine and guarana. Legal Lean’s founder is 29-year-old Nick Anderson, who told the Post that he first heard about the “chocolate-snorting trend” in Europe a few months ago. Now Anderson is convinced that snortable chocolate “is the future.”
In fact, snortable chocolate has been kicking around Europe for at least a couple years. In 2015 a Belgian chocolatier was selling a device that shoots two small bumps of cocoa powder up your nose for you. These chocolate snorting kits cost $109 a pop.
Also, given how passionate people are about chocolate and sticking substances up their noses, I’m sure it’s been tried since long before any of us were born. It only wasn’t until very recently that you could pay too much money for the experience of sticking chocolate up your nose. And maybe in the future it truly will be socially acceptable to emerge from a club bathroom with brown stuff all over your nose. I kind of doubt it, but I’m willing to be wrong.