Snooki Has Some Great and Totally Unsolicited Advice for Katy Perry

So as you know, Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi runs her very own Snooki-centric celebrity gossip blog, which is great, mainly because she starts posts with phrases like “So as you know…”

This week, she tackled the John Mayer/Katy Perry break up:

So as you know Katy Perry and John Mayer split up early this month, and I had a feeling something like this would happen because of their situations.

We did know, Snooki, but we’re not quite as knowledgable about their situations as you are, so please tell us more.

I feel like Katy is still vulnerable from her divorce from Russell Brand. I feel like she’s still hurting because they were in love with each other, and now they basically hate each other.

Very insightful. But how does John Mayer fit into all this?

You obviously don’t get over those feelings that quick, so I feel like she was moving in a little too quick with John Mayer…I always had a bad feeling about the two of them being together.

You know, to be fair, I totally buy Snooki as an oracle. So use that third eye, girl. Tell us what Katy needs.

Katy needs a good guy!

Okay! KP, take heed.

Anyway, all other pop culture writers should probably quit their jobs and call it a day because — and I’m saying this with actual sincerity — I think that Snooki is probably the only one that the internet needs.