Smacked Down, Put That Baby Down

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  • Victoria Osteen, wife of megachurch pastor Joel Osteen, is in court today facing a lawsuit that her "on-board temper tantrum caused the [flight attendant Sharon Brown] to lose her religious faith and suffer a flare-up of hemorrhoids." Osteen was reportedly trying to get a spill on her first-class armrest wiped up and elbowed Brown on the way to the cockpit to complain. The Osteens have already paid a $3,000 FAA fine for interfering with a flight crew. [WorldNet Daily, HuffPo]
  • In other salacious news, the National Enquirer has finally gotten around to posting its pictures of John Edwards' Beverly Hilton romp. Hey, did anyone notice that he's not wearing the same clothes in the pictures they said he was wearing? That's weird, right? [National Enquirer, Glamocracy]
  • The government came out with almost all of its evidence against Bruce Ivins, the anthrax scientist who killed himself as the FBI were preparing to arrest him. It seems pretty cut and dried — including the part where he misled investigators by telling them the anthrax belonged to an unnamed "other scientist" in the lab. Guess Moe and I were right. [Washington Post]
  • In China news, President Bush today said that "America stands in firm opposition to China's detention of political dissidents, human rights advocates, and religious activists." Of course, he then said that they'll get to actual freedom through free trade, so it's China-policy-as-usual. [MSNBC]
  • John McCain seemingly has his own Norman Hsu, as the media investigates Harry Sargeant III's large-dollar bundled from unregistered voters and first-time contributors. Corrections to the story, by the way, are already available. [Washington Post]
  • A U.S. military tribunal convicted its first person — Osama bin Laden's driver Salim Hamden — of driving bin Laden but not of engaging in terrorism. It apparently means we'll be keeping him in prison for life instead of killing him, and that the military is going to keep on keepin' on with their Alternative-to-Justice Department. [Washington Post]




Joel is smiley all the time because in the pre-nup Victoria promised never to give him hemorrhoids.

The Osteens are sure to find a way to exploit Victoria's gift. "Believe! Or Victoria will smite you with hemorrhoids!"