Sitemap: 2012 March | Jezebel

3/30/2012 - Kate Winslet Admits the Celine Dion Song From Titanic Makes Her Sick

3/30/2012 - Man Attacked by Lion, Rescued by Bear!

3/30/2012 - Uncle Jesse Is Still Ragging On Danny Tanner

3/30/2012 - Critics Question Whether Jennifer Lawrence Is Skinny Enough in Hunger Games

3/30/2012 - Vogue Italia Would Like to Tell You About the Hot New Trend of ‘Rapper Style’

3/30/2012 - 10 Things You May Have Missed On TV This Week

3/30/2012 - The Night Belongs To Astrud Gilberto

3/30/2012 - California College Paperwork Might Get a Little Sexier

3/30/2012 - Hep Cats in Clothes Are Adorable, Slightly Surly

3/30/2012 - How to Master the Art of Ombré Nails

3/30/2012 - Snoop Dogg Buys His Daughter a Shiny New Music Video

3/30/2012 - Have Men Really Stopped Liking Blowjobs?

3/30/2012 - TGIF!

3/30/2012 - The Literary Canon Is Still One Big Sausage Fest

3/30/2012 - Reader Email Haiku: You're a Black Person

3/30/2012 - Humans Have Been Doing Weird Shit to Make Themselves Look Good for Some Time Now

3/30/2012 - Arkansas Supreme Court Sanctions Student-Teacher Bangathons

3/30/2012 - March Madness: Is This What You Thought The Final Four Would Look Like?

3/30/2012 - Worth It: Don't Shine On, You Crazy Diamond

3/30/2012 - Five Journalists Who Also Worked in Strip Clubs

3/30/2012 - Rich Socialites Buy Weird Clothes

3/30/2012 - Here’s How Google Treats Its Employees Like Grazing Animals

3/30/2012 - Prom Dresses Slutty Enough to Break Any School Dress Code

3/30/2012 - Madonna's Boob-tastic Ad Too Hot for ABC

3/30/2012 - Payback Is a Bitch for Abortion Clinic Protestors, Thanks to a Brilliant Landlord

3/30/2012 - If You're Not Getting Hitched as a Fictional Character, You're Doing It Wrong

3/30/2012 - Cop Avoided Rape Conviction Thanks to Really Unreasonable Doubt

3/30/2012 - Gendered Toy Commerical Mashups Are Insane (And Telling, Too)

3/30/2012 - Hey Ladies: Be Better at Sex, Dummies!

3/30/2012 - Charles Barkley Wears a Dress, Diets Like a Man

3/30/2012 - Journalist/Multi-Tasker Sarah Tressler Gives First Interview Since Being Outed as a Stripper

3/30/2012 - Make Your Eyes Look Delicious With Burger King Eye Makeup

3/30/2012 - Meet Your New Heroic Pilot Crush

3/30/2012 - Hunger Games Creates an Army of New Archers

3/30/2012 - Selma Blair Breastfeeds Her Son in Public, Doesn’t Give a Shit What Anyone Thinks

3/29/2012 - Good Things Happen When You Add Cats Into Famous Movies

3/29/2012 - There Are So Many Reasons Not to Buy a Mousepad With Boobs on It [NSFW]

3/29/2012 - Taylor Kitsch Is Ready for His Close-Up

3/29/2012 - If You Need a Jennifer Lawrence Fix, Watch The Trailer for Her Scary New Movie

3/29/2012 - Like Ice Cream? Then You'll Love These Delicious Beaver Anal Glands

3/29/2012 - Comment of the Day: The Danger of Coral Sex

3/29/2012 - In an Unexpected Move, Lady Gaga Celebrates Her Birthday by Sweatin' to the Oldies

3/29/2012 - The Always Awesome Aubrey Plaza Is the Lead in Safety Not Guaranteed

3/29/2012 - Mary J. Blige Is Not Goin' Down 'Cause You Ain't Around

3/29/2012 - Everyone! Stop Giving Old People a Pass Just for Being Old!

3/29/2012 - CBS Is The Sexiest Network For Watching Sexy People Make Sexy Sex Jokes, Sexually

3/29/2012 - Why Do We Romanticize Bareback Sex?

3/29/2012 - BYU Mathletes Ask What Would Happen If Star Students Were Treated Like Star Athletes

3/29/2012 - Ranking The P90x Supporting Cast From Worst To Best

3/29/2012 - Larry, the Quaker Oats Dude, Has Had Some Work Done

3/29/2012 - Woman is 86 and a Killer Gymnast to Boot

3/29/2012 - What Is the Point of Carson Daly?

3/29/2012 - Fan Bingbing Is the Coolest Girl on Every Red Carpet

3/29/2012 - Dartmouth Frat Bro's Bro Memoir Will One Day Polarize Bros Everywhere

3/29/2012 - March Madness: Who Will Join Doggystyle in the Final Four?

3/29/2012 - Republicans Complain Rape Prevention Program is Too Luxurious

3/29/2012 - Whoever Stole The Lorax Should Be Smacked Upside the Head with a Truffula Tree

3/29/2012 - Should You Tell Your Facebook Friends You've Had a Miscarriage?

3/29/2012 - Oklahoma Judge Declares Awful Ultrasound Law Unconstitutional

3/29/2012 - Abercrombie & Fitch Not Quite Ready for a Gay Kiss — Yet

3/29/2012 - It's Going to Be Awkward When Megan Fox's Baby Comes Out With Megan Fox's Old Nose

3/29/2012 - Former Republican Advisor Admits Sarah Palin Ruined Everything

3/29/2012 - Access to Birth Control Means More Cash Money for Women

3/29/2012 - Adorable Sleepy Puppy Is in No Mood to Deal With Adorable Slippery Floor

3/29/2012 - The World's Coral Reefs Might Be Dying of Herpes

3/29/2012 - Rick Santorum Gravely Warns Against Dangers of Pink Bowling Ball

3/29/2012 - Dudes Love the Dowager Countess Just as Much as You Do

3/29/2012 - Will Augusta Finally Be Forced to Let a Woman Join?

3/29/2012 - Bad News: Hunger Games’ Amandla Stenberg Knows About the Racist Tweets

3/29/2012 - Male Dolphins Enjoy Blowholing Each Other

3/29/2012 - For Clear Skin, Just Rub Thyme All Over Your Face

3/29/2012 - Attention Commenters: You Need to Convert Your Accounts Right Now

3/29/2012 - Starbucks Pisses Off Vegans

3/29/2012 - Elizabeth Banks Warns Lawmakers That Without The Pill Ladies Will Be Bleeding All Over Office Furniture

3/28/2012 - Michelle Duggar Sees Nothing Wasteful Whatsoever About Having 19 Kids

3/28/2012 - Saturday Night Live Hires New Female Cast Member

3/28/2012 - Something Seems a Little Off With Brad and Angelina

3/28/2012 - Check Out the Vibrant Footage from the World's Biggest Color Party

3/28/2012 - Celebrated Feminist Poet Adrienne Rich Has Died

3/28/2012 - Comment of the Day: Our Cup Overfloweth With Free Birth Control

3/28/2012 - Lindsay Lohan's Probation Is Almost Over, But Her Criminal Past Is Causing Trouble Already

3/28/2012 - Azealia Banks Isn't a Troublemaker, But That Doesn't Mean She Gives a Fuck

3/28/2012 - Learn to Bake Delicious Portable Cakes in Canning Jars

3/28/2012 - An Internal Monologue While Watching YouTube Videos of Girls Crying

3/28/2012 - Finally, One Measly Conviction in a Rape Cop Trial

3/28/2012 - Meet Snatchly, the Pinterest for Porn [NSFW]

3/28/2012 - Read Fiona Apple's Letter to a Young Gay Teen

3/28/2012 - World's Ugliest Shoe Identified, Catalogued For Science

3/28/2012 - This Week In Tabloids: Adorable Michelle Williams and Adorable Jason Segel Are Most Adorable Couple Ever

3/28/2012 - Worth It: Delicious Candy Wine for the Elderly

3/28/2012 - Horrifying Moldy Tampon Story Will Haunt Your Nightmares

3/28/2012 - 'Show Your Boss Your Whore Pills' Bill Killed by Arizona Senate

3/28/2012 - Happy Hump Day!

3/28/2012 - World's Collective Heart Melts as Child Notices His Shadow for the First Time

3/28/2012 - The World of Yves Saint Laurent: Androgyny, Exoticism, and Scandal

3/28/2012 - March Madness Sex vs. Chocolate: Meet Your Elite Eight

3/28/2012 - Did You Say You Needed a Photo of LBJ with Puppies?

3/28/2012 - Non-Rapist Dominique Strauss-Kahn Referred to Sex Party Prostitutes as 'Gifts' and 'Luggage'

3/28/2012 - Here's Barack Obama Singing 'Sexy and I Know It' Because Why Not

3/28/2012 - Photographic Proof That Claudia Schiffer Is Ageless

3/28/2012 - Looking for Financial Help? Be a Pretty Lady With Light Skin

3/28/2012 - 'I'm a Maid. People Treat Me With Respect and I Love My Job'

3/28/2012 - Valentino Party Fashion Was Black, White, and Red All Over

3/28/2012 - Placentas Are Delicious, Sure, But Should You Eat Yours?

3/28/2012 - Let's Analyze President Obama's New Pinterest Account

3/28/2012 - Amazing Dog Saves His Own Life by Calling 911

3/28/2012 - Ladies Who Can't Afford Birth Control Should Just Google It, Says Legislator

3/28/2012 - Mitt Romney Suffers Tragic Humor-Circuit Malfunction

3/28/2012 - Megan Fox is Pregnant, Thanks to David Silver

3/27/2012 - Adorable Baby Sea Otter Has the Power to Erase Stress

3/27/2012 - Woman Chats With Facebook Friends as She Kills Herself

3/27/2012 - Jennifer Lawrence Is a Little Unsure About Her Newfound Fame

3/27/2012 - Someone Paid an Insane Amount of Money for Marie Antoinette's Shoes

3/27/2012 - You Simply Must Pay a Visit to Downton Arby's

3/27/2012 - Comment of the Day: No Matter Who You Are, Pinning Is Winning

3/27/2012 - Kris Humphries Goes on the Offense, Refuses to Give Kim Kardashian a Divorce

3/27/2012 - Jon Hamm Does 7 Minutes In Heaven and You Are Not Invited

3/27/2012 - Joel McHale Is the Cherry Atop a Die Antwoord Sundae

3/27/2012 - Chloe Moretz Is Your New Carrie, But Will She Remember to 'Plug It Up'?

3/27/2012 - Anti-Abortion Lawmakers Advance Poorly Conceived 'Arrest Grandma' Bill

3/27/2012 - The Conservative Teen: For the Prematurely Elderly Teenage Lame-o In Your Life

3/27/2012 - What Should Little Girls Be Made Of?

3/27/2012 - Christie Brinkley Starts Crying During One-on-One With Matt Lauer

3/27/2012 - Animal Uprising: Elephants Are Now Using Tablet Computers

3/27/2012 - Lena Dunham's Girls and the Rise of the Female Slacker

3/27/2012 - Mitt Romney Building a Special Elevator for his Cars

3/27/2012 - Drag Queen Refers to Black Contestants as 'The Help'

3/27/2012 - The Real Reason We Love to Watch Tearjerkers

3/27/2012 - March Madness: 'I Can't Believe Cowgirl Lost. You Lazy Bitches!'

3/27/2012 - Eva Longoria to Produce New TV Pilot Starring Four Latina Actresses… As Maids.

3/27/2012 - Church Spent Decades Stealing or Coercing Babies from Unwed Mothers

3/27/2012 - Alicia Silverstone Feeds Her Son with Her Mouth

3/27/2012 - Invisible Children Exec Makes Super Inappropriate Joke About Keeping Charity Donations for Himself

3/27/2012 - Sephora Is Using Aliens to Sell Makeup Now

3/27/2012 - The Top 29 Reasons Why It's Okay to Creepily Stare at Women's Butts

3/27/2012 - Tyson Beckford, Boyfriend of the Year, Claims All Credit For Shanina Shaik's Success

3/27/2012 - Hip Republican Credits Daughters With Teaching Him Cooking, Cleaning Skills

3/27/2012 - The Street Safety App for Proactive and Paranoid Woman

3/27/2012 - What Overturning Obamacare Could Mean For Your Ladyparts

3/27/2012 - Annie, Get Your Pretty Gun: The NRA Is on Pinterest

3/27/2012 - I See White People: Hunger Games and a Brief History of Cultural Whitewashing

3/27/2012 - Here's an Early Look at the Newest Season of Sixteen and Pregnant

3/27/2012 - Chocolate Helps You in the Unending Quest to be Skinny

3/27/2012 - Poor Woman Ostracized for Putting Daughter on Extreme Diet in Worst Vogue Article Ever

3/27/2012 - When You Have an Eagle, a Cat, and a Tiny Fox, Anything Is Possible

3/27/2012 - Very Busy Woman Is So Busy Texting That She Walks Off a Pier

3/27/2012 - Amy Poehler and Rachel Dratch Dream of a Sluttier Downton Abbey

3/26/2012 - Did Doctors Discover a Cure for Type 2 Diabetes?

3/26/2012 - Mad Men's Jessica Paré Talks About Floor Sex With Don Draper

3/26/2012 - Michelle Obama Welcomes Dangerously Radical Girl Scouts Into Her Garden

3/26/2012 - Pink Slime Manufacturer Goes Slithering Down the Tubes

3/26/2012 - Dominique Strauss-Kahn Charged With 'Aggravated Pimping'

3/26/2012 - Comment of the Day: The Biggest Hunger Games Losers

3/26/2012 - Bobby Brown Disappoints Us All by Getting Arrested for Another DUI

3/26/2012 - Listen, You Gossipmongers: Miley Cyrus Is Not Getting Married

3/26/2012 - Journalist Shocked — Shocked! — to Learn That Newspaper's Society Writer Is Actually an 'Active Stripper'

3/26/2012 - A Character-By-Character Guide to Race in The Hunger Games

3/26/2012 - Because It's Monday, Let's Watch Some Kittens Taking a Nap

3/26/2012 - You're Locked Out of Your House. Here's How to Break In.

3/26/2012 - Worst Vogue Article Ever Will Now Become Worst Memoir Ever

3/26/2012 - Models Sue Creepy, Bible-Banging, Butt-Groping Agent

3/26/2012 - A Linguistic History of Cocks, Dicks, and Nuts

3/26/2012 - 'Granny Basketball' Proves That Balling Knows No Age Limits

3/26/2012 - Worth it: Shine Without Grease

3/26/2012 - It Was a Fashionably Gay Ol' Time at the GLAAD Awards

3/26/2012 - Easter Egg Hunt Cancelled Because Parents Can't Be Trusted to Act Like Adults

3/26/2012 - March Madness: Meet Your Sexy, Scrumptious Sweet Sixteen!

3/26/2012 - There's a New, More Ridiculous Way to Elope

3/26/2012 - Why Is Madonna's New Album on Sale at Designy Design Site Fab.com?

3/26/2012 - Are Pharmacists Lying to Keep Teenage Hussies Pregnant?

3/26/2012 - Former Senator Enthralled By Sarah Palin's 'Sensuality,' Exposed Knees

3/26/2012 - Why Are Designer Shoes So Damn Expensive All Of A Sudden?

3/26/2012 - Mad Men: Meet Postpartum Joan

3/26/2012 - How Sorry Is Belvedere Vodka About That Rapey Ad?

3/26/2012 - Racist Hunger Games Fans Are Very Disappointed

3/26/2012 - Tailor Your Inbox for a Perfect Fit

3/26/2012 - President Obama Is a Big Fan of Girls' Sports

3/26/2012 - You Won't Just Die Alone — You'll Be Totally Miserable, Too

3/26/2012 - Adding Cash to Flash Mobs Makes Them Much More Tolerable

3/26/2012 - Want a Job With Explosive Growth Opportunities? Grab Your Biohazard Suit

3/26/2012 - Never Let a Raccoon Into Your Closet, Much Less Your Heart

3/26/2012 - Miley Cyrus Really, Really Wants Y'all to Think She’s Engaged

3/25/2012 - Adorable Kid Is So Tired He Falls Asleep While Skiing

3/25/2012 - Ha, Rick Santorum Unwisely Decides to Fondle Some Balls

3/25/2012 - Is Your Last Name Popular Enough to Be on the Map?

3/25/2012 - The First Official Look at Our New Carrie Bradshaw in Action

3/25/2012 - Let the Mad Men Madness Begin

3/25/2012 - Gloria Steinem Urges Us to Get Off Our Asses and Vote for Obama

3/25/2012 - Sunday Sign-Off: Pick Up a Book

3/25/2012 - Iraqi Woman Dies After Apparently Xenophobic Attack

3/25/2012 - Spring Is Blooming

3/25/2012 - Join Us for the Mad Men Premiere Tonight

3/25/2012 - Man with an Ingenious Zebra Truck Cuddles Lions

3/25/2012 - Miss Universe Canada Abruptly Kicks Transgender Contestant Out of Pageant

3/25/2012 - Improbable Mad Men Hook-Up Scenarios

3/25/2012 - Thigh-On-Thigh Action

3/25/2012 - Swedish Man Will Employ Somnambulist Defense in Rape Trial

3/25/2012 - What Are the Four Non-Myths About the ‘War on Women’?

3/25/2012 - Gluttonous Puppy Adorably Defends Food Dish from a Duck

3/25/2012 - Dick Cheney Receives New, Hopefully More Empathetic Heart

3/25/2012 - Jimmy Fallon No Longer Amuses Madonna

3/25/2012 - Queen Elizabeth Is the Wiliest Wedding Crasher Ever

3/25/2012 - Spanish Police Rescue 19-Year-Old Woman Tattooed with a Barcode from Prostitution Ring

3/25/2012 - Jon Hamm Is Far Too Crafty for Pranks

3/24/2012 - Saturday Night Social: Let's All Take a Rest Cure

3/24/2012 - Conservative Women Dig the Rick Santorum ‘Family Man’ Narrative

3/24/2012 - Pope Told to Stick ‘Em Up in Mexico

3/24/2012 - Jason Russell Is Taking the Whole Anti-Kony Campaign Down with Him

3/24/2012 - Pygmy Goats Perform Heathen Dance to Hall & Oates

3/24/2012 - Thigh Diving

3/24/2012 - The Hunger Games Is Eating All the Money

3/24/2012 - Spirit Airlines Is a Sore Winner About Making the Sweet 16 in the Consumerist’s ‘Worst Company in America' Bracket

3/24/2012 - The Horrible New Diet That Totally Stinks

3/24/2012 - Girl Psyches Herself Up for Very First Potential Skiing Accident

3/24/2012 - Gynecologists Don’t Want to Hear About What Ladies Do with Their Ladyparts

3/24/2012 - Sandra Lee Is Too Busy Caring About Starving Children to Talk About Her Boyfriend!

3/24/2012 - Hunger Games Spoiler Alert: Bad Shit Happens to Kids

3/24/2012 - The French President’s Marrying Authority Extends Beyond the Grave

3/24/2012 - Prudish Victorian Brits Were to Blame for India’s Ban on ‘Buggery’

3/24/2012 - Kim Kardashian’s Not Such a Good Sport About Flour-Bombing After All

3/23/2012 - When She's Sluggish, January Jones Pops Her Placenta Pills

3/23/2012 - The Pop Song That Will Eat Your Brain Was on TV Today

3/23/2012 - Well, That Was Quick — Looks Like Pinterest Just Banned 'Thinspo' Boards

3/23/2012 - British People to Change 'Big Ben' to 'Big Beth' in Honor of the Queen

3/23/2012 - Geraldo Rivera Thinks We Should Blame Hoodies for the Death of Trayvon Martin

3/23/2012 - How to Throw a Bachelorette Party that Doesn't Suck

3/23/2012 - Texas Parents So Rowdy They're Kicked Out of Gym by Police, Ruining Yet Another Kids' Sporting Event

3/23/2012 - 10 Things You May Have Missed On TV This Week

3/23/2012 - The Night Belongs To Joan Crawford

3/23/2012 - Planned Parenthood Wants You to 'Check In' When You Have Safe Sex

3/23/2012 - Online Shopping Party May Be Over for Syria's First Lady

3/23/2012 - March Madness: It's Sexsanity! It's Chocomania! Four Fierce Matchups Today!

3/23/2012 - Garage's Black Hair Fashion Spread Is Kind Of A Winner

3/23/2012 - Racist Wisconsin Fraternity Can't Handle its Booze

3/23/2012 - TGIF!

3/23/2012 - Crap Email from a Dude: The 'Dunbest' Pro-Abuse State Legislator

3/23/2012 - Prepare for Sunday's Premiere With Mad Men-Inspired Recipes

3/23/2012 - Rick Santorum Courts 5-Year-Old Girl Vote With Staunchly Pro Horse, Pro Puppy Agenda

3/23/2012 - We Just Paid $150 to Chat with Dina Lohan and Nadya Suleman

3/23/2012 - Komen Freaking Out After Board Chairman Steps Down

3/23/2012 - Mindy Kaling Hires Posse of Funny Dudes For Her New TV Pilot

3/23/2012 - British Government Breathlessly Announces that Abortion Clinics are Illegally 'Pre-Signing' Consent Forms

3/23/2012 - Bad at Math? Don't Worry, You Were Born That Way

3/23/2012 - What the Killjoy Critics Are Saying About The Hunger Games

3/23/2012 - The Rapey Belvedere Vodka Ad That Just Got Pulled

3/23/2012 - Karl Lagerfeld Thinks Newsweek Is a 'Shitty Little Paper'

3/23/2012 - Look Out, Michigan. You've Got a 'Pantyhose Pervert' in Your Midst

3/23/2012 - You Are a Ball of White Light and Other Lies They Tell You in the Cult of Hypnobirthing

3/23/2012 - Living in Sin No Longer Destroys Your Marriage Prospects, Kind of

3/23/2012 - Shorts So Ugly Not Even a Mother Could Love Them

3/23/2012 - Zimbabwe's 'Sperm Hunters' Are Coming for Your Semen

3/23/2012 - Tyler Clementi's Newly-Convicted Roommate Dharun Ravi Gives First Interview

3/23/2012 - Don Draper and Joan Harris Are Back, People

3/23/2012 - Dare to Dream: Over-the-Counter Birth Control

3/23/2012 - Hunger Games Studio Sics Lawyer on Fans Trying to End Hunger

3/23/2012 - Bobby Brown's Shit-Talking Sister Says Ray J Gave Whitney a 'Bad Bag' of Coke

3/23/2012 - Attention, Women: The World's Most Annoying Blowhard Is Coming to Steal Your Boyfriend

3/23/2012 - Ralph Lauren Debuts Strange New 'One Tiny Arm' Look

3/23/2012 - Meet Beyoncé, the Tiniest Miracle Dog Ever

3/23/2012 - According to Rihanna, Getting Your Boobs Out is a Great Way to Feel Better About Your Body

3/23/2012 - It's Finally Happening: Let the Hunger Games Begin

3/22/2012 - Frat Boys Walking in High Heels for Charity Is Quite a Sight to Behold

3/22/2012 - Hugh Grants Flips the Bird

3/22/2012 - John Edwards Says He Did Not Have Sex with High-Class Prostitute

3/22/2012 - After World's Longest Pregnancies, Hilary Duff Bests Jessica Simpson in the Race to Give Birth

3/22/2012 - Comment of the Day: In the Matter of Katniss v. The Movie Industry

3/22/2012 - The Sad Truth Is That Whitney Houston Did Cocaine Right Before She Died

3/22/2012 - We Found Love in the Hunger Games

3/22/2012 - Diane Keaton Is About to Get Crushed, You Guys

3/22/2012 - If Michelle Obama Had Natural Hair…

3/22/2012 - Obesity Linked to Dementia; Obesity Studies Linked to Shitty Behavior

3/22/2012 - Can't Remember What Happened Last on Mad Men? Here's a Quick Character-By-Character Refresher

3/22/2012 - Some E-Cards Thinks All We Women Care About Is Food and Ryan Gosling

3/22/2012 - Teenage Pornography Enthusiast Not Allowed to Bring Adult Film Stars to Prom

3/22/2012 - Watch This: U.S. Rep. Frederica Wilson's Heartbreaking and Moving Speech on the Death of Trayvon Martin

3/22/2012 - Wearing Heels Does Not Make You A Bad Feminist

3/22/2012 - Here's the Mad Men 8-Bit Choose Your Own Adventure Video That Your Life's Been Missing

3/22/2012 - A Brief History of 'Dehydration,' the Go-To Celebrity Alibi

3/22/2012 - No, Abercrombie Isn't Selling 'N***** Brown' Pants

3/22/2012 - Sponsor of 'Show Your Boss Your Whore Pills' Bill Hijacks Mic at Press Conference, Calls Everyone Liars

3/22/2012 - Every Single Celebrity Owns the Dress That Won't Die

3/22/2012 - March Madness: Holy Shit, an Upset in the Sex Vs. Chocolate Tourney!

3/22/2012 - Mom Puts 7-Year-Old on a Diet in the Worst Vogue Article Ever

3/22/2012 - Introducing Pam & Sue, Your New Favorite Comedy Duo

3/22/2012 - Fed-Up Republican Launches Sarcastic Drive to Outlaw Left-Handed Marriage

3/22/2012 - Karl Lagerfeld Disappointed to Learn Japanese Are Getting Fat

3/22/2012 - A Doctor's Manifesto for Fighting Transvaginal Ultrasounds

3/22/2012 - Will The Hunger Games Be The First Real Female Franchise?

3/22/2012 - Single and Looking to Mingle? Try World Of Warcraft

3/22/2012 - Racist Vigilante Killer of Trayvon Martin Once Blamed an Ex for Domestic Violence

3/22/2012 - A Look at the Broadway Production of Newsies That Your 10-Year-Old Self Has Been Dying For

3/22/2012 - At Last: A Foolproof Guide to Cancer-Free Living!

3/22/2012 - Attention-Grabbing Mag Cover Features Gorgeous Cate Blanchett Without Photoshop

3/22/2012 - Dov Charney 'Sex Slave' Lawsuit Will Settle Out of Court

3/22/2012 - Smushy-Smile Dog Will Dissolve Your Heart Into a Pool of Joy

3/22/2012 - There's a Way to Find a Man Who Loves You For Your Shoes

3/22/2012 - Woman In Wheelchair Gets Thrown Off a Bridge, Enjoys the Hell Out of It

3/22/2012 - Rihanna Had Sex With Ashton Kutcher While You Were Sleeping Last Night

3/21/2012 - Arizona Safeway Deems Jessica Simpson's Pregnant Belly Too Lewd to Be Seen [UPDATED]

3/21/2012 - Town Is Beset by Mysterious Loud Booms, Wishes They Would Fucking Stop Already

3/21/2012 - Don Draper and the Cast of Mad Men Occupy Wall Street

3/21/2012 - You Absolutely Will Not Want to Buy the Mitt Romney Book That's Being Rushed to Press

3/21/2012 - Hilarity Ensues When Dogs Are Cast as Downton Abbey Characters

3/21/2012 - Comment of the Day: Alice Gets an Abortion, Coming to a Theater Near You

3/21/2012 - Alec Baldwin Mobilizes His Twitter Followers to Attack His Girlfriend's Harasser

3/21/2012 - Dita Von Teese Gives the TSA More Than They Bargained For

3/21/2012 - Cheerleading's Manly Beginnings

3/21/2012 - Eerily Gorgeous Weather Finally Convinces People That Global Warming is a Thing

3/21/2012 - Badass Maryland Governor Politely Tells Mitt Romney To STFU

3/21/2012 - Looks Like You Missed National Marriage Proposal Day Again, Loser

3/21/2012 - Tommy Hilfiger Pledges $1 Million After Factory Fire Kills 29

3/21/2012 - When Is It Okay to Use the 'It Was a Joke' Defense? When It Was an Actual Joke

3/21/2012 - Lawmaker Named Dick Thinks Gals Should Have Men Sign Abortion Permission Slips

3/21/2012 - Best Board Game Ever Combines Girl Talk With The Hunger Games

3/21/2012 - Worth It: One Lotion to Rule Them All

3/21/2012 - Your Afternoon Cry: Obama Responds to Deaf Student Using Sign Language

3/21/2012 - This Week in Tabloids: Johnny Depp Spotted Stumbling Out of Ashley Olsen's Loft After Hot Hookup

3/21/2012 - Happy Hump Day!

3/21/2012 - Adriana Lima Is Pregnant Again

3/21/2012 - Kony 2012 Founder to Remain Hospitalized, Possibly for Months

3/21/2012 - The Tutu Project: A Man's Journey to Cure Breast Cancer, One Shirtless Photo at a Time

3/21/2012 - Batshit Lawmaker Says Women Should Have to Watch an Abortion Before Getting One

3/21/2012 - March Madness: Could This Be the Sex vs. Chocolate Upset?

3/21/2012 - Jennifer Lawrence Gets Treated Like One of the Goddamn Beatles

3/21/2012 - Breast Cancer Survivors Can Safely Get Pregnant Sooner Than Doctors Thought

3/21/2012 - 'One Tiny Hand' Is Our New Favorite Website, (Tiny) Hands Down

3/21/2012 - The Moment When Your Son Asks About His Balls

3/21/2012 - Breaking Up Is Confusing! A Primer on Prenups and Cohabitation Hazards

3/21/2012 - Celeb Chefs Hit Back Against Ghostwriting Accusations, But Should They Even Have To?

3/21/2012 - Rick Santorum Definitely Hates Porn, But He Certainly Doesn't Mind Profiting From It

3/21/2012 - The Girl on Fire Was Smoking Hot at The Hunger Games Screening

3/21/2012 - Advertising Standards Authority Says There's No Shame in 'Walk of Shame' Ad

3/21/2012 - 3 Ways to Get Your Closet Up To Springtime Snuff

3/21/2012 - A Short Shoe Rant From a Former Club Kid

3/21/2012 - Defiant Author of 'Show Your Boss Your Whore Pills' Bill Is Rewriting the Damn Thing, Okay?!

3/21/2012 - If Michael Bay Got His Hands on The Hunger Games

3/21/2012 - When Fox News Lies, Actual People Die

3/21/2012 - Mike Daisey’s Fabrications Are Now His Wife’s Fault

3/21/2012 - Vibrating Tattoos for the Mind-Bogglingly Lazy

3/21/2012 - Online Dating Will Now Be Slightly Less Dangerous

3/21/2012 - Katy Perry Casually Talks Shit About Beyoncé and Shakira's Musical Talent

3/20/2012 - Tiny Puppy Headbutts Itself in the Cutest Possible Way

3/20/2012 - Santorum Reaches New Low, Calls Obama a Bad Dad for Letting Malia Travel to Mexico

3/20/2012 - Josh Hutcherson Points the Way to Jennifer Lawrence

3/20/2012 - Mad Men's Matthew Weiner Forced to Reveal a Season Premiere Secret

3/20/2012 - Mitt Romney Delivers Useless Blow to Rick Santorum in Illinois

3/20/2012 - Comment of the Day: We're a Huge Group of Boys

3/20/2012 - After Five Straight Seasons of Partying, Jersey Shore's The Situation Heads to Rehab

3/20/2012 - A Terrible Look Into the Sleazy, Rapey Modeling World of the 1980s

3/20/2012 - Menarche Party? Meh. Getting Your Period Doesn't Make You a Woman

3/20/2012 - Juliette Lewis Is Totally Stoked for the Queen's Diamond Jubilee

3/20/2012 - This Animated Retelling of Little Red Riding Hood Is Bloody, Macabre and Awesome

3/20/2012 - Silly Ladies Don't Know What Rape Is, Suggests Idaho Legislator

3/20/2012 - Buying Cheap Jewelry Could Have Deadly Consequences

3/20/2012 - Piranha 3DD Red Band Trailer: Only Kind of Horrible!

3/20/2012 - Getting Dizzy When You Stand Up Means You're Totally Gonna Die

3/20/2012 - Why Do You Suddenly Look 100 Years Older After Having a Baby?

3/20/2012 - Saudi Arabia Begrudgingly Allows Women to Compete in Olympics

3/20/2012 - Don't Despair: There Are Plenty of Men Out There Who Trust Women

3/20/2012 - 'You Keep Me Hangin' On' as Performed by The Ladies of Mad Men

3/20/2012 - Can't a Bitch Catch a Break? The Nicollete Sheridan Story

3/20/2012 - Trolling Politicians' Facebook Pages With Vaginal News is Hot New Trend

3/20/2012 - 'Bitches in Bookshops' Gives 'Ni**as in Paris' a Nerdy Literary Twist

3/20/2012 - Detective Hillary Clinton Now Trying to Solve Amelia Earhart Mystery

3/20/2012 - Santorum & Romney Choose Totally Penis-y Secret Service Names

3/20/2012 - Karl Lagerfeld Doesn't Drink Water — Just Diet Coke

3/20/2012 - 'Will The Real Mitt Romney Please Stand Up' Is a Work of Editing Perfection

3/20/2012 - March Madness 2012 Sex vs. Chocolate: Cowgirl Rides Ahead, But It Ain't Over Yet!

3/20/2012 - Vogue Italia Editor Invites Everyone Who Thought Cover Story Was Racist to Seek Psychiatric Help

3/20/2012 - Drag Queen Breaks The Rules, Barfs, Gets Booted Off the Show

3/20/2012 - Turns Out Being Born a Woman Is a Major Financial Mistake

3/20/2012 - Afghanistan's Largest Prison Won't Stop Searching Visitors' Vaginas

3/20/2012 - American Reunion Red Carpet Is Pretty Depressing

3/20/2012 - In the Future, Women Will Rule the World and Won't Feel Shitty About It

3/20/2012 - 'Underweight' Models Banned in Israeli Advertisements

3/20/2012 - OMFG Watch Out, Here Comes a Huge Group of Girls

3/20/2012 - The More Facebook Friends You Have, the Bigger Asshole You Are

3/20/2012 - Your Morning Cry: Marine Reunites With Combat Dog After Years of Petitioning to Keep Him Alive

3/20/2012 - Meth Babies Are the New Crack Babies

3/20/2012 - Imagine, if You Will, a World Where You Can Play Tiny Tower During Takeoff

3/20/2012 - The Sisterhood of the Exercise-Induced Orgasm

3/20/2012 - David Letterman Almost Makes Michelle Obama Cry

3/20/2012 - The Romantic Tale of How Lindsay Lohan Paid a Porn Star for Sex While Dad Was Snoring Upstairs

3/19/2012 - Rick Santorum Goes Insane, Denies Ever Even Mentioning Contraception

3/19/2012 - Cake and Frozen Yogurt in One Cup!? The Mind Reels

3/19/2012 - Keanu Reeves Will Happily Fight You

3/19/2012 - Drag Queens Will Endorse the Chick-fil-A Whether Chick-fil-A Likes It or Not

3/19/2012 - Starbucks Marks the Opening of Its First Fancy Juice Bar With an Unfortunate Typo

3/19/2012 - Comment of the Day: A Cock Is Always to Blame

3/19/2012 - Brace Yourselves: The Next Season of Jersey Shore Will Offer 'Fist Pumps and Baby Bumps'

3/19/2012 - PS22 Does Wonderful Cover of Whitney Houston's 'The Greatest Love of All'

3/19/2012 - Bristol Palin Palinesquely Makes Character Attacks on Sandra Fluke All About Bristol Palin

3/19/2012 - Ron Swanson Doesn't Need St. Patrick's Day to Dictate When He Can and Can't Have Corned Beef

3/19/2012 - Here Are Those Bloody Justin Bieber Photos You Never Wanted

3/19/2012 - When It Comes to The Hunger Games, Teens Are as Excited as the Rest of Us

3/19/2012 - A First Look At The Met's Prada/Schiaparelli Show

3/19/2012 - The Opossum Lady Is Back, This Time Talking Opossum Poetry

3/19/2012 - Reader Email Haiku: It Melts

3/19/2012 - A Cupcake War Is the Stupidest Kind of War

3/19/2012 - Here's the Awesome New Trailer for Snow White and the Huntsman

3/19/2012 - Abu Ghraib Torturer Says Detainees are Better Off Than She is

3/19/2012 - Another Day, Another Demi Moore Photoshop Story

3/19/2012 - The 10 Funniest Celeb Twitter Bios

3/19/2012 - Worth It: The Only Way to Get the Retro Cat-Eye Liner Effect

3/19/2012 - Law That Gives Away Identities of Women Having Abortions Couldn't Possibly Backfire

3/19/2012 - Here Is the Katy Perry Cover of 'Ni**as In Paris' That You Never Asked For

3/19/2012 - How To Unclog Your Drain Without Barfing

3/19/2012 - How To Ditch Your Boring Throw Pillows For Something Cooler

3/19/2012 - Jon Hamm Won't Back Down on His Kardashian Problem

3/19/2012 - The Real Josie Who Inspired Josie and the Pussycats Has Died

3/19/2012 - March Madness 2012: The Sex vs. Chocolate War Rages On

3/19/2012 - Some Guy Sticks His Fingers in Lana Del Rey's Mouth in the 'Blue Jeans' Video

3/19/2012 - Syria's Charming First Lady Says She's the 'Real' Dictator

3/19/2012 - Revisiting Untested Rape Kits Cracks Cases but 'Revictimizes' Women

3/19/2012 - John McCain Thinks It's Time for Republicans to Stop Acting Like Lady-Hating Jerks

3/19/2012 - Meet the Woman Addicted to Drinking Her Own Urine

3/19/2012 - Kate Middleton Borrowed Her Mother's Dress

3/19/2012 - The Scary, Weird World of Pinterest Thinspo Boards

3/19/2012 - Colleges Soon Required to Give Students Access to Free Sluttery-Causing Birth Control

3/19/2012 - Badass Little Girl Does First Ski Jump, Is Braver Than All of Us

3/19/2012 - Cloris Leachman Wore a Sheer Top to the Mirror Mirror Premiere

3/19/2012 - Ed Hardy Model Runs Drug Ring, Is Still Less Embarrassing Than Wearing Ed Hardy

3/19/2012 - Knit a Uterus to Donate to a Congressman in Need

3/19/2012 - You Can Order Clothes Seen on Fashion Star, But You May Never Get Them

3/19/2012 - It's 2012. Maybe It's Time for Schools to Stop Beating Children?

3/19/2012 - Women are Prescribed More Drugs But Take Less of Them

3/19/2012 - Anna Wintour Is an O.G. Fashion Troll

3/19/2012 - 2-Year-Old Singing Adele's 'Someone Like You' Is So Cute You'll Cry

3/19/2012 - Is Toxic Chicken Causing Your UTIs?

3/19/2012 - Charlize Theron Raises Her Glass to Michael Fassbender's Monster Cock

3/18/2012 - Woman Proposes to Her Girlfriend During Hockey Game, Hearts Melt

3/18/2012 - Ann Romney Begs Women to Support Her Husband

3/18/2012 - Taylor Swift Takes Hair Whipping to a New Level

3/18/2012 - Terrible Doctor Insists Woman Is Pregnant When She Actually Has a Giant Tumor

3/18/2012 - The Shoe That Politely Says 'I Don't Want to Fuck You'

3/18/2012 - Sen. Scott Brown Makes Ridiculous Condom Joke About Rick Santorum

3/18/2012 - Sunday Night Slán Go Fóill: Still Hungover?

3/18/2012 - The Hunger Games Resonates with Young Huntresses Everywhere

3/18/2012 - Irish Thighs Are Smiling

3/18/2012 - Puppies Make Not-So-Diligent Duck Herders

3/18/2012 - Feel Free to Get All Kinds of High and Drive Because the Cops Can’t Really Tell

3/18/2012 - Single Women Are Quickly Becoming the 'Evangelicals' of the Democratic Party

3/18/2012 - One-Armed Pole Dancer Wins World Title of Pole Dancing

3/18/2012 - Lily Collins Missed the Memo

3/18/2012 - Remember When Rick Santorum Sexualized Pro Wrestling?

3/18/2012 - Parrot Takes Advantage of Sad-Eyed Kitten

3/18/2012 - Jan Brewer Has Some Encouraging Doubts About Arizona's Whore Pill Bill

3/18/2012 - It’s the Dublin Skittles Day Parade!

3/18/2012 - Occupy Wall Street Resurgence Marked by Rumors of Police Violence

3/18/2012 - Up Close and Jason Russell

3/18/2012 - Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum Went Skinny Dipping Together, Bro-Style

3/17/2012 - Saturday Night Social: Don't Forget Overshadowed Birthdays

3/17/2012 - Original 'Mad Woman' Talks About 60s Advertising and Office Hats

3/17/2012 - Make The Hunger Games Your Next Family Bonding Event

3/17/2012 - Dachshunds Also Get Really Excited About Penguins

3/17/2012 - Moroccan Women Rally Against Horrible Rape-Marry Law

3/17/2012 - From Your Hips to God's Ears

3/17/2012 - Awesome Girl Becomes UK’s ‘Top Young Scientist of the Year’

3/17/2012 - Stop Celebrating St. Patrick Because He Was Probably an Asshole

3/17/2012 - Kate Middleton Is the Only One Who Remembered

3/17/2012 - Social Media Shames College Students Into Having a Less Naked Spring Break

3/17/2012 - Texas Sues the Obama Administration for Making It Look Like a Big Jerk

3/17/2012 - Sensible Utah Governor Vetoes Proposed Ban on Sex Ed in Schools

3/17/2012 - Mittens Enjoys His Pancakes with a Sprinkle of Dispassion

3/17/2012 - Jason Russell Isn’t on Drugs or Anything

3/17/2012 - Rosie O’Donnell’s Show Cancelled for Sucking

3/16/2012 - Uh Oh, Bobbi Kristina Brown Is Actually Engaged to Her Brother

3/16/2012 - The Night Belongs to Nancy Wilson

3/16/2012 - See How a Chanel Jacket is Made

3/16/2012 - The Always Humble Tyra Banks Changes Song Lyrics to Be About Tyra Banks

3/16/2012 - The Rest of the Comics Page Weighs in on the Texas Abortion Debate

3/16/2012 - 10 Things You May Have Missed On TV This Week

3/16/2012 - Nothing Inappropriate Whatsoever About Katy Perry's Military-Themed Video

3/16/2012 - Don't Pinch Me: A St. Patrick's Day Manifesto

3/16/2012 - Michele Bachmann Had No Idea She Was Meeting the 'Dangerous Radical' Running Against Her

3/16/2012 - Legislators Got You Down? Cheer Up With Uterus-centric Stuff from Etsy

3/16/2012 - Rich People Now Buying Ultra Fancy Medical Care You Can't Afford

3/16/2012 - Amber Tamblyn Turns Naughty Prank on Tyrese Into Something Nice

3/16/2012 - Kony 2012 Co-founder Detained for Allegedly Masturbating in Public [UPDATED]

3/16/2012 - Celebrity Tattletale Is Not Robert Downey Jr., Says Robert Downey Jr.

3/16/2012 - This Cardboard Box Is Your New Home

3/16/2012 - One Woman's Horrible Experience with Texas' New Sonogram Law

3/16/2012 - Lana Del Rey's 'Controversial' New Single Cover Is Just Boring

3/16/2012 - Lady Legislator Who Opposes Mining Gets Envelope Full of Human Poop Sent to Office

3/16/2012 - March Madness 2012: The Sex vs. Chocolate Tournament Continues!

3/16/2012 - Groundbreaking School to Make Kids' Free Condom Dreams Come True

3/16/2012 - Watch Gloria Allred Out-Pageant a Pageant Kid

3/16/2012 - You'd Be a Lot Happier If You Weren't Such an Anal Control Freak

3/16/2012 - Grizzled Do-Gooder George Clooney Arrested in D.C.

3/16/2012 - Tyler Clementi Webcam Spying Case Ruled a Hate Crime

3/16/2012 - Great Moments in Not Knowing Shit About Birth Control

3/16/2012 - Project X Parties Are the Newest Trend in Teenagers Being Awful

3/16/2012 - Rodarte's Aboriginal Prints Called 'Offensive' By Australian Leader

3/16/2012 - Is Your Town Obsessed With The Hunger Games?

3/16/2012 - Catholic Bishops Pressured Komen to Excommunicate Planned Parenthood

3/16/2012 - You Better Get Your Facebook Estate in Order in Case You Die

3/16/2012 - Good News: Ladies Can Close the Wall Street Wage Gap by Shining Shoes

3/16/2012 - Johnny Depp Is a Vampire Forced to Endure the '70s in Dark Shadows

3/16/2012 - Idaho Bill Requires Women to Go to Awful Crisis Pregnancy Centers Before Getting Abortions

3/16/2012 - School Lunches Are About to Be A Lot Less Pink and Slimy

3/16/2012 - Man Develops Delightful Giggling Disorder After Surgery

3/16/2012 - Megan Fox and Zoe Saldana Team Up To Swindle Us All

3/15/2012 - How Are You Celebrating Vasectomy Season?

3/15/2012 - When It Comes to Sex, Meghan McCain Keeps It 'Strictly Dickly'

3/15/2012 - Camilla Parker Bowles: Unassuming Duchess or Leader of a Crazed British Children's Cult?

3/15/2012 - Thanks to Rick Perry, the Federal Government Cut Off All Medicaid Funding for Family Planning in Texas

3/15/2012 - Eden from Toddlers & Tiaras Will Now Sparkle and Shine on Her Very Own Show

3/15/2012 - Comment of the Day: Get Pregnant or Die

3/15/2012 - Noted Troublemaker Russell Brand Has Been Arrested—Yet Again

3/15/2012 - Watch Ellie Kemper Execute Several Perfect Dance Bombs

3/15/2012 - Nicole Richie Would Like to Remind You that Her Tits Are Down There

3/15/2012 - Latinos No Les Gusta Mitt Romney, Any Republican

3/15/2012 - Your Pushy Coworkers Might Be Making You Fat

3/15/2012 - Students Attend School Assembly, End Up Getting a Lecture on the Evils of Abortion and Being Gay

3/15/2012 - Reverend Links Condoms to Date Rape

3/15/2012 - Who Owns '90s Nostalgia?

3/15/2012 - New Hampshire Law Mandates Doctors Tell Women Scary Stories Before Abortions

3/15/2012 - M.I.A. and Anderson Cooper Ignite and Resolve Feud in an Hour and Twenty-One Minutes

3/15/2012 - Reader Email Haikus

3/15/2012 - Lenny Kravitz Answers the Question: Is Cinna Gay?

3/15/2012 - March Madness 2012: The Sex vs. Chocolate Tournament Starts Now!

3/15/2012 - The Only Three Women in Bruce Springsteen's Music

3/15/2012 - The Problem With Niche Dating Sites

3/15/2012 - Man Proclaims 50 Shades of Grey 'Deeply Unappealing to Men'

3/15/2012 - What If Don Draper Was Deeply in Love With Roger Sterling?

3/15/2012 - Michelle Obama Invites Fundraising Artist Anna Wintour to State Dinner

3/15/2012 - How to Tell If Your Shrink Sucks (And Then Fire Them)

3/15/2012 - Komen Cancels Annual Gala to Avoid Inevitable Embarrassment

3/15/2012 - Drake's Seduction Techniques Include White Wine Spritzers, John Hughes Movies

3/15/2012 - Modernity Rules at Mad Men Premiere

3/15/2012 - Here's That Terrifying Home Invasion Story You Didn't Ask For

3/15/2012 - Republicans Oppose Violence Against Women Act Because Ladies Can't Vote, Right?

3/15/2012 - Your Future Just Got a Little Less Pap Smeary

3/15/2012 - Syria's First Lady Has Quite the Luxury Shopping List

3/15/2012 - Yoda, the World's Ugliest Dog, Passes Away at 15

3/15/2012 - Megyn Kelly Manages to Make Mitt Romney Look Even Worse

3/15/2012 - This Is How You Blow a Baby's Adorable Mind

3/15/2012 - Sexual Black Widow Michelle Obama Catches George Clooney in her Presidential Web

3/14/2012 - Devilishly Clever Ad Distributes Free Cake Samples to Passersby

3/14/2012 - Jon Hamm Shares His Feelings on Outdoor Sex and What Kind of Movies Make Him Cry

3/14/2012 - Anna Wintour: International Woman of Mystery

3/14/2012 - What Is IKEA Doing Spying on Its Employees and Angry Customers?

3/14/2012 - In Online Dating, Orientation May Be Secondary

3/14/2012 - Comment of the Day: Sex and Chocolate Band Name Edition

3/14/2012 - Charlize Theron Surprises Us All by Adopting a Baby

3/14/2012 - Noted Asshole Bret Easton Ellis Thinks Bullying Victims Need to Toughen Up

3/14/2012 - Great Dane Slides Are the Best Kind of Slides

3/14/2012 - Why Young Women Keep Making Striptease Videos, and Why Guys Keep Sharing Them

3/14/2012 - Unhinged Madman Randall Terry Has A Special Message for Our Readers

3/14/2012 - The Dazzling Design Disaster That Is Fashion Star

3/14/2012 - No One Cares About Kony Anymore

3/14/2012 - This Penguin Is Such an Asshole

3/14/2012 - Enjoy the Warm Weather Until the Horde of Angry Scorpions Eats You

3/14/2012 - Lawmaker Suggests Beaten Ladies Remember the Good Times

3/14/2012 - Goodbye to Jezebel, and to My Favorite Tipster

3/14/2012 - Worth It: Get That Just-Got-Laid Glow

3/14/2012 - Happy Hump Day!

3/14/2012 - March Madness 2012: Sex vs. Chocolate

3/14/2012 - Anti-Abortion Fervor Spreads to the U.K.

3/14/2012 - Gwyneth Paltrow Is the Obvious Choice to Shill Clothing Line Modern Preppy

3/14/2012 - Rick Santorum's Official Stance on Porn is Hilarious

3/14/2012 - Five Ways Narcissists Screw Up Everything

3/14/2012 - This Week In Tabloids: Kanye Kourts Kim Kardashian For Both Bed and Business Purposes

3/14/2012 - Ladies Are Hiding Some Pretty Dirty Stuff in Their Nooks

3/14/2012 - American Apparel Will Get $75M From George Soros — But at a Price

3/14/2012 - Research Concludes That American Middle-Class Kids Are Brats

3/14/2012 - When Prejudice Is Sexy: Inside the Kinky World of Race-Play

3/14/2012 - Which BYRTHE FYGVRE Are You?

3/14/2012 - Sketchy Nickelodeon App Celebrates Drunk Girls, Cougars, and Tasing

3/14/2012 - St. Petersburg's Anti-Gay Law Could Ban Talking About Tchaikovsky

3/14/2012 - Richard Grieco Was Epically Creepy at 21 Jump Street Premiere

3/14/2012 - Man Claims Abuse Made Him Screw Up His Taxes

3/14/2012 - Mitt Romney Vows to 'Get Rid' of Planned Parenthood Like It's an Unplanned Pregnancy

3/14/2012 - Watch GMA's George Stephanopoulos and Josh Elliott Go Into Full-On Protective Dad Mode

3/14/2012 - A New Recipe for High Quality Semen

3/14/2012 - Sarah Palin Unwisely Challenges Barack Obama to a Duel of Words

3/14/2012 - James Deen: Feminist Hero or 'Lady Porn' Star?

3/14/2012 - Tiny Baby Can Play Dead With the Best of 'Em

3/14/2012 - Lindsay Lohan May Now Add ‘Hit and Run Driver’ to her Diverse Résumé

3/13/2012 - Girl Genius: Meet the Amazing 6-Year-Old Who's Headed to National Spelling Bee

3/13/2012 - A Nation Winces As Santorum Wins Alabama and Mississippi

3/13/2012 - Watch Julianne Moore Beat Sarah Palin at Her Own Game

3/13/2012 - Michelle Obama Wholeheartedly Approves of Your Moves

3/13/2012 - The Selection Could Be Your New Hunger Games

3/13/2012 - Encyclopaedia Britannica Dies Under Its Own Massive, Printed Weight

3/13/2012 - Comment of the Day: Riding the Tide All the Way to the Bank

3/13/2012 - Jennie Garth and Peter Facinelli Divorce, Driving a Stake Through the Heart of Love

3/13/2012 - Grandparents Discover Photobooth, Have the Time of Their Lives

3/13/2012 - History Reveals People Have Always Given Moms Shit

3/13/2012 - Maude Apatow Gets the Teenage Girl Swoons Over Josh Hutcherson

3/13/2012 - Smartasses Deluge Pro-Ultrasound Male Lawmaker's Facebook Page With Detailed Vagina Updates

3/13/2012 - James Franco's Younger Brother Dave Franco Seems Like a Lot of Fun

3/13/2012 - Moroccan Girl Kills Herself After Judge Forces Her to Marry Her Rapist

3/13/2012 - Cosmetics Company Actually Does Something to Help Animals

3/13/2012 - Crucifix Enthusiasts Sue After Being Fired for Wearing Crosses at Work

3/13/2012 - Drag Queen on Gay Marriage: 'I Just Don't Want It to be Called Marriage'

3/13/2012 - Invisible Children Requests, Then Declines Interview

3/13/2012 - Cats Speaking in French is Le Purrfect Meme

3/13/2012 - Everything I Know About Parenting a Toddler I Learned From Waiting Tables

3/13/2012 - Beloved YA Author in War With Bank of America

3/13/2012 - Law Will Allow Employers to Fire Women for Using Whore Pills

3/13/2012 - How A Blogger's Photo of a Red Typewriter Inspired a Designer Dress

3/13/2012 - How Should Google+ Stop Sexual Harassment?

3/13/2012 - Woman Breaks Up with Drum Kit for the Statue of Liberty

3/13/2012 - Maybe Viola Davis Will Win an Oscar When She Plays Barbara Jordan

3/13/2012 - Dirty Sign Language: Santorum

3/13/2012 - Extremely Fishy Planned Parenthood Lawsuit Just a Sign of Shit to Come

3/13/2012 - The Website Where Cuckolded Ladies Seek Revenge

3/13/2012 - JonBenet's Dad Calls Toddlers & Tiaras 'Unhealthy'

3/13/2012 - Inspired Project Gives Survivors of Sexual Assault the Final Word

3/13/2012 - Motley Crew of Moderate Conservatives Starts a New Super Team for Religious Freedom

3/13/2012 - Kids Kill at the 'Hunger Games' Premiere

3/13/2012 - More Young Women Are Using Botox 'Preemptively'

3/13/2012 - Cuba Gooding Jr. Walks Into a Bar. And Allegedly Gropes Someone.

3/13/2012 - Model Sues Agency for Not Telling Her She Became The Face Of Sally Hansen In 2006

3/13/2012 - Coming to an Airport Near You: The Babysitters Club

3/13/2012 - Guess How Many Advertisers Have Now Abandoned Rush Limbaugh

3/13/2012 - Beyoncé Is a Crazy-Pants Hipster Mommy

3/13/2012 - New Hunger Games Clip: Peeta Admits He's Got a Crush on Katniss

3/13/2012 - Mildly Conservative Women Abandoning the He-Man, Woman-Hating GOP

3/13/2012 - Courtney Love Is Working With Celebrated Leech Sam Lutfi

3/13/2012 - Tide Detergent Is a Stain on the Black Market

3/13/2012 - Homeless Female Veterans Placed in Frighteningly Unsafe Shelters

3/13/2012 - Bacon Will Totally Kill You

3/13/2012 - Hillary Clinton Urges Women Not to Take Any Shit

3/13/2012 - Noted Hollywood Hornbag Gerard Butler is a Total Homewrecker

3/12/2012 - Ohio Lawmaker Proposes Legislation Aimed to Regulate Old Dicks

3/12/2012 - Refined, Reanimated Feather Duster Wins Best in Show

3/12/2012 - Former Palin Advisor Says Game Change Pretty Much Happened

3/12/2012 - Priest that Horribly Denied Gay Woman Communion Is Placed on Leave

3/12/2012 - Here Are SNL's 'Real Housewives of Disney' Deleted Scenes

3/12/2012 - Ben Keesey Is Here to Calmly Answer Your Concerns About Invisible Children

3/12/2012 - Comment of the Day: How Many Arrows Can Fit in a Quiver?

3/12/2012 - Kim Kardashian Thinks Jon Hamm Is an Ass Talker

3/12/2012 - A Kitty Elevator Is the Best Elevator

3/12/2012 - We Are the Jerry McGuire to Jose Canseco's Dorothy

3/12/2012 - Lawmaker Says Pregnant Ladies are a Lot like Livestock

3/12/2012 - Teaching Kids That Failure Is Okay Will Make Them Fail Less

3/12/2012 - How to Cure a Bad Case of Static Cling

3/12/2012 - Your Job Could Give Your Children Autism

3/12/2012 - I Was an 18-Year-Old Girl Scout

3/12/2012 - Cure Your Monday Blues By Watching a Baby Elephant Play in Some Dirt

3/12/2012 - Richard Nixon's Surprisingly Touching Love Letters Will Confuse Your Genitals

3/12/2012 - Panda and Manatee Share a Beautiful Moment

3/12/2012 - J.K. Rowling Loses Billionaire Status by Being a Lovely and Charitable Person

3/12/2012 - Public Sex Is My Radical Sex

3/12/2012 - Would You Pay $350 For Madonna's Shoes?

3/12/2012 - Cats (and Dolphins) Have No Sweet Tooth

3/12/2012 - Is a Secret Celebrity Tattletale Actually Robert Downey Jr.?

3/12/2012 - First Dog Totally Photobombs Spanish Language News Broadcast

3/12/2012 - Fourteen-Year-Old Owns More Property Than You

3/12/2012 - Sasha Grey Sends Mixed Messages in 'Equal Pay Day' PSA

3/12/2012 - Worth It: Is That Magic on Your Lips or Are You Just Happy to See Me?

3/12/2012 - Revenge Will End With a Cliffhanger and May Never Return

3/12/2012 - 10 Badass Moments in Girl Scout History

3/12/2012 - Kony 2012 and Invisible Children are Funded by Antigay Creationist Groups

3/12/2012 - In the Trailer for On The Road, Dean Moriarty is Smoking Hot

3/12/2012 - Woman Is Addicted to Smelling Scary-Ass, Disembodied Doll Head

3/12/2012 - Dozens of Young People With 'Emo' Haircuts, Skinny Jeans Killed in Iraq

3/12/2012 - Is the Bestselling 'Mommy Porn' Book Worth the Hype?

3/12/2012 - Are Your Facebook Friends Sex Offenders?

3/12/2012 - Kristen Wiig's Paula Deen Impression Is So Delicious, It Might Have Been Fried in Butter and Oil

3/12/2012 - Kony 2012 Founders to Release 'Explainer Video' Later Today

3/12/2012 - Pax Jolie-Pitt Has Attitude; Zahara Jolie-Pitt Has Blue Extensions

3/12/2012 - Teen Model's Lawsuit Against Urban Outfitters Will Proceed

3/12/2012 - 'Hipster-Ass Hipster Bike for Hipsters' Promises You a Wild Ride

3/12/2012 - AIDS Drugs Only Work If People Actually Take Them

3/12/2012 - Celebs Dress Down for Charity

3/12/2012 - Hot Trends in Online Dating: Syphilis and Chlamydia

3/12/2012 - For Just $9.65M, You Can Live in the House That Carrie Bradshaw Built

3/12/2012 - Meet the Family of 21 That's Challenging Duggars for Crazy-Breeding Crown

3/12/2012 - Dropping Acid Could Cure Alcoholism, Make Timothy Leary's Ghost Happy

3/12/2012 - Mass Indian Marriage Saves Eight Girls from a Lifetime of Prostitution

3/12/2012 - This Little Sports Fan Dances with Unnerving Intensity

3/12/2012 - Bobbi Kristina Is Lovingly Haunted by the Ghost of Whitney Houston

3/11/2012 - Equinox’s ‘Skinny Fat’ Awareness Ad Wants to Control Your Mind

3/11/2012 - Pooping Sadly Disqualifies Puppy from Obstacle Course

3/11/2012 - British Women Allege Un-Christian Discrimination for Wearing Crosses

3/11/2012 - Crappy Criping Creeping in Beaver County

3/11/2012 - Red Panda Tumbles in the Snow

3/11/2012 - Philadelphia Flower Show Marred by Appearance of the Dreaded Man-Cave

3/11/2012 - Sunday See-You-Soon: Celebrate Johnny Appleseed Day

3/11/2012 - Greenhouses Purport to Be Room of One’s Own for Wealthy, Indolent Women

3/11/2012 - This Time-Lapse Pregnancy May Startle You

3/11/2012 - Study Finds that Bees Can Have Tiny Little Personalities

3/11/2012 - Banana Split

3/11/2012 - Channing Tatum Is Opening a New Orleansy-Sounding New Orleans Bar in New Orleans

3/11/2012 - Studio Wants Dudes to See The Hunger Games Too

3/11/2012 - Stefon Explains the Football Jellyfish

3/11/2012 - Austin Is Probably Way Too Indie For You

3/11/2012 - Egyptian Court Clears Awful ‘Virginity Test’ Doctor

3/11/2012 - An Army of French Ninja Cats Is Creeping Up Behind You

3/11/2012 - Enjoy a Rooftop View of India’s Holi Festival

3/11/2012 - What Happened to Lindsay Lohan’s Marilyn Monroe Sketch on Last Week’s SNL?

3/11/2012 - This Is What a Bret Easton Ellis 'Dirt Bag' Looks Like

3/11/2012 - Hey Girl, Ryan Gosling Is Single Again

3/10/2012 - Live from Jezebel, It's Saturday Night!

3/10/2012 - Happy Birthday, Jon Hamm!

3/10/2012 - Sarah Palin Totally Doesn’t Give a Shit About Game Change

3/10/2012 - Doonesbury’s Abortion Storyline Riles Editors

3/10/2012 - Purim Skipper Is a Limited Edition

3/10/2012 - SNL Live Thread Tonight!

3/10/2012 - The Horsepad Is an iPad...for Horses

3/10/2012 - Thrifty 14-Year-Old Girl Becomes Either the Best or Worst Landlord Ever

3/10/2012 - British Man Dispassionately Admits Hacking Abortion Provider’s Website

3/10/2012 - Thighs On Ice

3/10/2012 - Piglet’s Sink Chortling Is Really a Cry for Help

3/10/2012 - Dallas Flight Attendant Freaks the Fuck Out

3/10/2012 - Texas Women’s Health Fund to Lose Federal Funding Over Abortion Row

3/10/2012 - A Record Number of Women Could Be Putting Out Fires in New York

3/10/2012 - Why Yes, My Palace Is Made of Gingerbread...

3/10/2012 - Greta Van Susteren Harrumphs Louis C.K. Out of Congressional Correspondence Dinner

3/9/2012 - Dennis Quaid’s Third Marriage Is Not the Charm

3/9/2012 - Mindy Kaling Once Again Nails It

3/9/2012 - Penguins Love Flying On Planes

3/9/2012 - 10 Things You May Have Missed On TV This Week

3/9/2012 - The Night Belongs to Juliette Binoche

3/9/2012 - Republican Party Shockingly Struggling to Attract Female Support

3/9/2012 - Slightly More Jobs For All, But Fewer Jobs For Women

3/9/2012 - Check out the Romney Family's Palin-Themed Halloween Costumes

3/9/2012 - Look at Me! Leave Me Alone!

3/9/2012 - The Good and Evil Sides of Reddit

3/9/2012 - Adventures in Baby Pooping

3/9/2012 - How Did the Kony 2012 Video Go Viral So Quickly?

3/9/2012 - We Are All the Olive Garden Lady

3/9/2012 - ‘Scorned’ LAPD Detective Stephanie Lazarus Finally Found Guilty of Killing Her Romantic Rival 26 Years Later

3/9/2012 - TGIF!

3/9/2012 - College Sex Fest Inspires Conservative Bullshit

3/9/2012 - I Just Want My Pants Back: Where Abortion Is No Option

3/9/2012 - Marc Jacobs Wore a Dress to His Own Event

3/9/2012 - Guys Answer Hard Questions About Soft Dicks

3/9/2012 - Johnny Depp Takes Tonto Character From Racist to Merely Culturally Insensitive

3/9/2012 - Mitt Romney Ominously Informs Mississippians That Strange Things are Happening to Him

3/9/2012 - University Wages War on Premarital Sex and Guerrilla Condoms

3/9/2012 - Top Model Contestant Totally Loses Her Shit at Panel

3/9/2012 - Story About Jennifer Westfeldt's Movie Becomes Story About Jennifer Westfeldt's Childlessness

3/9/2012 - The Creepy World Of Model Scouts

3/9/2012 - Sarah Palin's Got the Scoop on Barack Obama's Secret Slavery-Era Fantasies

3/9/2012 - A Timeless Warning on the Dangers of the Cinnamon Challenge

3/9/2012 - Legal Blogger Attempts to Criticize Lechery, Ends Up Seeming Lecherous

3/9/2012 - In Marc Jacobs' World, Runway Modeling Is Just Like Being in a Peanut Butter Commercial

3/9/2012 - Kony 2012 Director Says It's Not About Money While Campaign Makes Millions

3/9/2012 - New Vogue Italia Story Pokes Fun at Poor Blacks and Latinas, Seems Kinda Racist

3/9/2012 - It Could Be Worse: At Least We're Not Douching With Lysol Anymore

3/9/2012 - Real Housewives Will Make You Evil

3/9/2012 - Shirtless Protesters Fail to Ruffle Bank of America Automaton

3/9/2012 - Your Morning Squee: Opossum Shreds the Slopes on His Snowboard

3/9/2012 - Katy Perry is Sexing Baptiste Giabiconi, Karl Lagerfeld’s Hot Piece

3/8/2012 - Your Favorite Classic Movies, Bro'd

3/8/2012 - Real-Life Mystic Pizza May Soon Serve Its Last Slice

3/8/2012 - British Apparel Company Thinks Laundry Is Strictly Women’s Work

3/8/2012 - Audiences Remain Stubbornly Suspicious of Women Narrating Movie Trailers

3/8/2012 - Have a Daily Cocktail, Ladies, Unless You Want a Stroke

3/8/2012 - Matthew Weiner Almost Pete Campbelled His Way Off of Mad Men

3/8/2012 - Comment of the Day: O to Be a Zombie!

3/8/2012 - Ellen Notches a Win Over One Million Bigoted Moms

3/8/2012 - The Benefits of Living Alone, As Told by the Upright Citizens Brigade

3/8/2012 - Doctor Ruth Reminds Us That If The Earth Is A'Rockin,' Don't Come A'Knockin'

3/8/2012 - Just in Time for International Women's Day, Radio Station Gives Lucky Winner a Czech Bride

3/8/2012 - Arizona Senate Wants to Make it Legal for Doctors to Lie About Birth Defects to Prevent Abortions

3/8/2012 - Some Bees Are Natural Thrill-Seekers

3/8/2012 - This Scary Animal Rights Activist Thinks Researchers Should Die

3/8/2012 - Iranian Women Strip Down to Protest the Repression [NSFW]

3/8/2012 - Kids' Birthday Party Gift Bags Are Getting Completely Out of Control

3/8/2012 - Michigan State University Offering Zombie Encounter Survival Skills

3/8/2012 - How to Set Boundaries With People You Love

3/8/2012 - Here's 'Game On,' the Rick Santorum Anthem Your Life Was Definitely Missing

3/8/2012 - Sandra Fluke 'Slut' Comments Mysteriously Vanish from Rush Limbaugh's Online Transcripts

3/8/2012 - Our Favorite Mortician Does Not Care for Zombies!

3/8/2012 - Sperm Is Weirdly Smart, Knows How to Count

3/8/2012 - In Which Retta Makes an Awesome Casting Plea for Parks and Recreation

3/8/2012 - Meet the Group Behind All Those Crappy Ultrasound Laws

3/8/2012 - Wolf-Whistles and Cat-Calls Still Legal in Europe, Despite What You Might Have Heard

3/8/2012 - Kony 2012 Group Responds to Increasing Criticism

3/8/2012 - In Defense of Sluts

3/8/2012 - Rush Limbaugh's Line of '90s Fashion Ties Is Appropriately Hideous

3/8/2012 - Louis Vuitton Threatens To Sue Penn Law School Over Logo Parody

3/8/2012 - What Type of Nipple Are You?

3/8/2012 - Start Shrieking, Ladies: Boy Bands Are Back

3/8/2012 - Blackface Happened on MTV

3/8/2012 - Inventor of Spanx is World's Youngest Female Self-Made Billionaire

3/8/2012 - Facebook Means Always Having to Look Your Best

3/8/2012 - In Texas, Abortion Trumps Healthcare Access

3/8/2012 - Enterprising Man Arrested for Smuggling 40,000 Fake Erectile Dysfunction Pills

3/8/2012 - Woman Endured 75 Days of Lying Upside Down in Labor to Save Her Babies

3/8/2012 - Michele Bachmann Rides In on Her Crazy Horse to Warn Us That Obama Kills Babies

3/8/2012 - When Pigs Fly, It's Actually Very Cute

3/8/2012 - Rihanna’s Daddy Dearest Says His ‘Fat’ Daughter Should Get Back With Chris Brown

3/7/2012 - Parents Leave Daughter at Chuck E. Cheese, Don't Notice Until They See Her on the News

3/7/2012 - The Santorum: A Frothy Cocktail That Will Fix What Ails You

3/7/2012 - Sarah Jessica Parker Wants You to Know She's Wearing a Bra

3/7/2012 - Can a Pill Really Cure Racism?

3/7/2012 - Think Twice Before Donating to Kony 2012, the Charitable Meme du Jour

3/7/2012 - A New Way to Feed Your Jean Dujardin Addiction

3/7/2012 - Comment of the Day: Rick Santorum Is the Six Million Dollar Douchebag

3/7/2012 - Secret Couple Amanda Seyfried and Josh Hartnett Totally Pulled One Over on Us

3/7/2012 - Alexander McQueen, for Aphrodites in Search of Clam Shells

3/7/2012 - Iman Makes One Hell of an "Afro-Geisha"

3/7/2012 - Lessons in World Domination: The Sloth's Sleepy Rise to Internet Fame

3/7/2012 - 'Purity Pledge' Would've Made GOP Candidates Pinkie-Promise to Abstain From Porn and Adultery

3/7/2012 - Florida Legislature Ensures Your Right to Dye Animals All Sorts of Pretty Colors

3/7/2012 - Chinese Lady Billionaires Are Doing Great; Other Women, Not So Much

3/7/2012 - Dance Moms Has Devolved Into Little Girls Doing Burlesque in Nude Suits

3/7/2012 - Badass Female Kicker Tries Out For LSU Football Team

3/7/2012 - Men's Magazines Aren't Necessarily Doing Them Any Favors

3/7/2012 - Happy Hump Day!

3/7/2012 - Falling Kate Moss Injures Four

3/7/2012 - Porn Producer Fights for Constitutional Right to Film Women Eating Poop

3/7/2012 - Dr. Ruth Attempts to Start Sexy Hashtag Trend

3/7/2012 - This Week In Tabloids: Snooki's Dad Didn't Speak To Her After She Told Him She Was Knocked Up

3/7/2012 - Noted Derelict Randall Terry Thinks He Beat the President in Oklahoma

3/7/2012 - Jessica Simpson Is Demi Moore on this Month's Cover of Elle

3/7/2012 - Did Time-Travel TV Really Kill Two Chinese Schoolgirls?

3/7/2012 - 'Too Fat' Top Model Winner Triumphs In $85,000 Agency Lawsuit

3/7/2012 - Sketchy Crisis Pregnancy Center Services Now Available to Barnes & Noble Shoppers

3/7/2012 - Here's Rick Santorum Lifting Weights in a Suit

3/7/2012 - Your Lunchtime Coo: Tiny Kitten and Baby Monkey Are the New Peas and Carrots

3/7/2012 - Conservative Sluts Have It Sooo Much Worse Than Liberal Sluts, Says Conservative Non-Slut

3/7/2012 - Go Ahead and Buy Cheap Wine, You Can't Taste the Difference Anyway

3/7/2012 - Your Period Is a Time for Deep Lady-Bonding

3/7/2012 - The Manhattan Diet Is the Newest Way to Get Thin, Date Woody Allen

3/7/2012 - Sarah Palin Defends Rush Limbaugh, Says Apology Was Unnecessary

3/7/2012 - Your Paranoia Over Facebook Photos Is Perhaps Justified

3/7/2012 - France Considers Banning Child Beauty Pageants

3/7/2012 - Demi Lovato Bravely Admits She's Still Struggling with Self-Harm and Bulimia

3/7/2012 - Super Tuesday Is a Wash as Romney Finally Wins Ohio

3/6/2012 - The Miller Sisters, 73-Year-Old Identical Twin Recluses, Die At Virtually the Same Time

3/6/2012 - Obama Uses Rush Limbaugh's Idiocy to Teach Malia and Sasha a Stirring Lesson

3/6/2012 - 81-Year-Old Woman Wins Massive $336 Million Dollar Lottery Jackpot

3/6/2012 - Someone Finally Vomits Live on The View

3/6/2012 - Katniss Meets Cinna in the Newest Hunger Games Clip

3/6/2012 - Comment of the Day: I'll See Your Rush and Raise You a Hamm

3/6/2012 - Maggie Smith Might Leave Downton Abbey, Robbing Us of Our Beloved Dowager Countess

3/6/2012 - Mike O'Brien Lives the Dream in 7 Minutes in Heaven with Paul Rudd

3/6/2012 - Stoner Miley Cyrus Is Quite the Philosopher

3/6/2012 - Parahawking Is the New Way to Fly Like a Bird

3/6/2012 - Study That Links Abortion and Adverse Mental Problems Actually Bullshit, Say Scientists

3/6/2012 - The Best Laugh Is a Solitary Laugh

3/6/2012 - Finally, a Reason to Stop Trying So Hard at Life

3/6/2012 - Man Arrested for Exposing His Fake Penis

3/6/2012 - Women Sue Military For Being Incredibly Rapey

3/6/2012 - Rush Limbaugh Seriously Loses His Shit, Randomly Attacks Another Young Woman

3/6/2012 - Did My Rapist Find Me on Spokeo?

3/6/2012 - An Open Letter to Myself at Age 14

3/6/2012 - Ask an Actuary: When Will Don Draper Die?

3/6/2012 - Scary But Smart PSA Combats Teen Rape

3/6/2012 - Marc Jacobs Didn't Always Refuse to Pay His Models

3/6/2012 - Watch Ke$ha's Sarah McLachlan-esque Plea on Behalf of Baby Seals

3/6/2012 - Did Slut Comments Actually Win Rush a Sponsor?

3/6/2012 - Barnard, Columbia at War Over Obama, Feminazis, and Cum Dumpsters

3/6/2012 - Paris Fashion Week, Where Eccentricity Means 'Weird With Money'

3/6/2012 - The Bret Easton Ellis/James Deen LA Noir Movie is a Go (Maybe)

3/6/2012 - 'Millionaire Madam' Just Your Ordinary Suburban Mom

3/6/2012 - Alexander Wang's Garment Workers Sue for $50M Alleging Mistreatment

3/6/2012 - Rick Santorum Thinks That Single Women Who Breed Need to be Kicked in the Butt

3/6/2012 - A Very Funny Reminder That Limbaugh Has Always Been a Terrible, Terrible Person

3/6/2012 - Nosy Colleges and Employers Are Coming for Your Facebook Passwords

3/6/2012 - Charming Man Somehow Acquires a Cannon, Kills His Wife With It

3/6/2012 - China's Version of Gossip Girl Might Be Slightly Less Exciting

3/6/2012 - Yoga Got a Stoner Out of Jail

3/6/2012 - The Game and Crew Grope Woman on Stage, Then Throw Her Off

3/6/2012 - We Live in a Country Where Two-Year-Olds are Getting Root Canals

3/6/2012 - The Ten Weirdest Allegations From Paula Deen's Home-Cooked Racism and Sexual Harassment Complaint

3/6/2012 - Oh Crap, Those Fancy Gel Manicures Might Be Bad for You

3/6/2012 - For Lasting Romance, Find Out Why She's Sad

3/6/2012 - Rick Santorum Makes the Bizarre Promise to Never Speak the Name of Any Former President

3/6/2012 - Missouri Stupidly Decides to Create Rush Limbaugh Shrine in the State Capitol

3/6/2012 - Katy Perry and ‘Ginger Ninja' Prince Harry Plan Romp on Palace Grounds

3/5/2012 - Meet the Transgender Indonesian Nanny Who Took Care of Young Barack Obama

3/5/2012 - See Britney Spears Grow Up Before Your Very Eyes

3/5/2012 - Your Evening Swoon: Jon Hamm Photobombs Brian Williams

3/5/2012 - Patricia Heaton Apologizes to Sandra Fluke for Tweeting Nasty Things About Her

3/5/2012 - Tiny Baby Goats In Sweaters Follow Girl Wherever She Goes

3/5/2012 - Comment of the Day: An Important Announcement from the TSA

3/5/2012 - Snooki Is Getting Married!

3/5/2012 - Zillionaire Ann Romney Doesn't Consider Herself Rich

3/5/2012 - Kirk Cameron's TV Family Does Not Approve of his Homophobic Remarks

3/5/2012 - Elisabeth Moss Would Like You to Stop Asking When Don and Peggy Will Finally Sleep Together

3/5/2012 - Your Sarcastic Dick-Related Legislation Roundup

3/5/2012 - Boy's Two Moms Finally Get Full Parental Rights

3/5/2012 - Why Does the Media Continue to Act Like Terry Richardson Isn't Totally Fucked Up?

3/5/2012 - Slothing to the Oldies

3/5/2012 - On Purim, Women Should Be Neither Seen Nor Heard

3/5/2012 - Model Would Just Like To Say She Really Enjoyed Working Unpaid For Marc Jacobs

3/5/2012 - Oops! Looks Like You Might Need Your Appendix After All

3/5/2012 - Rush Limbaugh Continues to Insatiably Screw Self as 12th Sponsor Flees [Updated]

3/5/2012 - Worth It: Jeans That Actually Are Good

3/5/2012 - Anti-Choice Campaign Improbably Leads to Win for Everyone

3/5/2012 - How to Cure a Headache Without Pills

3/5/2012 - Your February 2012 Apocalypse Index

3/5/2012 - 'I Am Sure in Your Mind That This Was Some Big Step for Girl Power'

3/5/2012 - News Professionals Get Giggly Over Justin Bieber's Hummer

3/5/2012 - Marc Jacobs Responds to Allegations of Non-Payment: 'If Models Don't Want To Work With Us, They Don't Have To'

3/5/2012 - Another Hunger Games Workout Promises You'll Get In 'Killer' Shape

3/5/2012 - 13-Year-Old Iranian Girl Sings Stunningly Beautiful Adele Cover

3/5/2012 - Man Loses Two Jobs for Daring to Marry Partner

3/5/2012 - Sandra Fluke Gives First Network TV Interview, Calls Bullshit on Limbaugh's Apology

3/5/2012 - This Is What Happens When You Try to Steal a Girl Scout's Cookie Money

3/5/2012 - Your Afternoon Cry: Dog and Owner Reunited Months After a Car Accident Came Between Them

3/5/2012 - Three School Officials Arrested for Abusing the Same Student

3/5/2012 - TSA Forces Woman to Use Her Breast Pump Before She Can Take It Through Security

3/5/2012 - Meet the Woman Addicted to Her Toenails

3/5/2012 - First Black Disney Princess Endorses Delicious Watermelon Candy, Stereotypes

3/5/2012 - Marc Jacobs Doesn't Pay His Models, Says Model [Updated]

3/5/2012 - Suzanne Somers Is First Patient to Undergo New Experimental Breast Reconstruction

3/5/2012 - Study Reveals Snoring Kids Are Also Hyper Kids

3/5/2012 - Things Get Ugly in Virginia as Riot Police Crack Down on Pro-Choice Protesters

3/5/2012 - Christina Hendricks Denies Her Bountiful Bare Breasts Are Internet Stars

3/4/2012 - Boy Gets Frighteningly Creative and Attacks His Mom With a Pop Tart

3/4/2012 - Dad Is World’s Worst Ski Instructor

3/4/2012 - MIT Offers Awesome Classes to Give Nerds Social Skills

3/4/2012 - Talented Hound Dog Plays the Piano and Sings the Blues

3/4/2012 - Living the Dream: Guy Rushes Pippa Middleton and Gives Her a Kiss

3/4/2012 - Miracle Baby Who Survived the Tornado That Killed Her Family Has Died

3/4/2012 - Sunday Sign-Off: Three Cheers for Frances Perkins

3/4/2012 - Senate Women Maintain Civility with Regular Dinner Parties

3/4/2012 - Mayim Bialik Would Like You to Know that It’s Okay to Cuddle Your Kid

3/4/2012 - The Hunger Games Stars Risk Carpal Tunnel to Sign Your Posters

3/4/2012 - Turn Me On, Dammit! Is the Girl’s Coming of Age Movie that Hollywood Would Never Make

3/4/2012 - Scissor Me Timbers!

3/4/2012 - New Orleans Woman Hopes to Pray the Crime Away

3/4/2012 - Princess Beatrice and Her Fabulous Hats Want to Earn Their Own Living

3/4/2012 - Sydney’s Mayor Gaily Enjoys a Very Gay Mardi Gras Parade

3/4/2012 - Kirk Cameron Will Totally Tell His Kids that Gay Marriage Is a Sin

3/4/2012 - The French Revolution Put the Kabosh on Lady Artists

3/4/2012 - Baby Sloths Learn How to Climb and It’s Just as Adorable as You’d Imagine

3/4/2012 - Texas Girl Scout Toughs Fail to Stop Cookie Cash Box Bandit

3/4/2012 - The Real Housewives of Disney Will Ruin Your Childhood

3/4/2012 - Rush Limbaugh Apologizes to Sandra Fluke for His Shitty Attempt at ‘Humor’

3/4/2012 - Whitney Houston Was Saving All Her Love For Jermaine Jackson

3/3/2012 - Live From Jezebel, It's Saturday Night!

3/3/2012 - Saturday Night Social

3/3/2012 - SNL Live Thread Tonight!

3/3/2012 - Here's Taylor Swift Wearing Kanye West

3/3/2012 - Obama to Deliver Keynote Address for Very Lucky Barnard Women

3/3/2012 - Swedish Hasbeens' New Lookbook is a Little Creepy

3/3/2012 - Does This New Gadget Mean the End of Waitstaff?

3/3/2012 - Meet the 'Brogrammers'

3/3/2012 - Watch Sherlock Holmes and the Doctor Battle it Out, Broadway Style

3/3/2012 - Lena Dunham and her Girls Castmates Talk About Sex (in the City)

3/3/2012 - Georgetown Student Wants You to Know that Sandra Fluke Doesn't Speak For Her, or Even For 'Skanks'

3/3/2012 - Amber Tamblyn Tricked Tyrese into Thinking She Was Amber Rose with Amazing 'Awareness Raps'

3/3/2012 - Paul Rudd Wishes Other Filmmakers Besides Judd Apatow Paid Attention to Him

3/2/2012 - Nick Cannon Says He's Suffering From an Autoimmune Disease

3/2/2012 - Waldorf-Astoria Lets Adorable Couple Celebrating 60th Anniversary Stay There for 1952 Room Rate

3/2/2012 - Hollywood, For The Last Time, Octavia Spencer and Sherri Shepherd Are Different People

3/2/2012 - The Night Belongs to Karen Carpenter

3/2/2012 - 10 Things You May Have Missed On TV This Week

3/2/2012 - Rush Limbaugh's Loose Lips Cause Him to Lose Advertisers

3/2/2012 - Target Bans Sandblasted Jeans to Help Factory Workers

3/2/2012 - Stop Lying To Your Young, Impressionable Fanbase, Kim Kardashian!

3/2/2012 - Ice Cream Now Grows on Trees

3/2/2012 - Palin Family's Diplomatic Relations with HBO Dissolve, Allegiance With Lifetime Still Intact

3/2/2012 - Dog Gets Caught In the Tennis Ball Rainstorm of His Dreams

3/2/2012 - Undercover Reporter at Applebee's Recounts Horrific Sexual Assault

3/2/2012 - Listen to the Wonderfully Nostalgic Clarissa Explains It All Album

3/2/2012 - Here Are Some Tips to Get You Hunger Games Skinny

3/2/2012 - TGIF!

3/2/2012 - Ultimate 'Nice Guy' Suspended from School for Giving Letter on Inner Beauty to Female Classmates

3/2/2012 - Baby Is a Year Old and Already Playing Drums Like a Boss

3/2/2012 - It's Time to Stop Sneaking Vegetables Into Your Children's Desserts

3/2/2012 - Jeremy Lin Will Totally Talk to You... Unless You Look Slutty

3/2/2012 - Your Depressing Digest of Proposed State Anti-Abortion Laws

3/2/2012 - Why Don't We Know More About The 24-Year-Old Reporter Who Exposed the Penn State Scandal?

3/2/2012 - Cupcake ATM Is the Future of Dessert

3/2/2012 - Here's One Government Program That Actually Wants Young Adults to Talk About Premarital Sex

3/2/2012 - President Calls Sandra Fluke, Tells Her That Her Parents Should Be Proud

3/2/2012 - '16 and Pregnant' Star Arrested for Shoplifting Pregnancy Test

3/2/2012 - Researchers Say Anorexia Is a Socially Transmitted Illness

3/2/2012 - Meet the 21-Year-Old Art Student Who Tricked Folks (Including GMA) Into Thinking She Was a Tween

3/2/2012 - Worth It: Keep Your Laptop From Frying Your Legs

3/2/2012 - Cate Blanchett Is Rightly Terrified of Plastic Surgery

3/2/2012 - Creepy Groupon Is Creepy

3/2/2012 - Katniss Shows Gamemakers Who's Boss in Brand New Hunger Games Clip

3/2/2012 - Submission Sex Fantasy Books Invade the Burbs

3/2/2012 - 'Cruelty-Free' Cosmetics Companies Are Total Liars

3/2/2012 - Are Modern Dudes Reasserting Their Manliness Through 'Guy' Chores?

3/2/2012 - Lindsay Lohan Begged for the SNL Hosting Gig

3/2/2012 - Your Morning Cry: Woman Dies of Cancer After Unknowingly Passing it to Her Baby In Utero

3/2/2012 - Meryl Streep Really Knows How to Work a Pair of Glasses

3/2/2012 - Proposed Measures to Georgia Breast Feeding Law Could Punish Assholes Who Harass Nursing Mothers

3/2/2012 - Robert Pattinson is Understandably Excited About His Upcoming Father-Son Orgy

3/1/2012 - Caffeine Keeps Morning People Up All Night, Leaves Night Owls Blissfully Unaffected

3/1/2012 - Hank, the Cat Who's Running for Senate, Has Made Some Powerful Enemies

3/1/2012 - Kate Middleton Will Look, But She Will Not Touch

3/1/2012 - 95-Year-Old Woman Sets World Record By Marrying Her Adorable 98-Year-Old Boyfriend

3/1/2012 - Stephen Colbert Reveals His Genius Plan to Start Giving Men Transurethral Ultrasounds

3/1/2012 - Comment of the Day: Beware of Flying Gay Agenda Monkeys

3/1/2012 - Wiz Khalifa and Amber Rose Are Engaged!

3/1/2012 - It Gets Betterish Is a Webseries Well Worth Watching

3/1/2012 - Patti Stanger Knows About Our Secret Crack Habit

3/1/2012 - Unbelievably Stupid Law Would Declare Single Parenthood Child Abuse

3/1/2012 - Plus Magazine Editor Says She Totally Didn't Say Crystal Renn Betrayed Her

3/1/2012 - Police Keep Interfering in Fun, Totally Safe-Sounding Home Butt-Pumping Craze

3/1/2012 - Headaches Actually Do Make You Like Sex Less

3/1/2012 - Only Assholes Think You Won't Sleep With Them Unless They're Assholes

3/1/2012 - My Internet Boyfriend and the Warning Signs of Abuse

3/1/2012 - Maryland Legalizes Gay Marriage, For Now

3/1/2012 - Baby Sloth in a Onesie Is Possibly the Most Adorable Thing You'll Ever See

3/1/2012 - WTF Is Up With K-Pop and Blackface?!

3/1/2012 - How to Get Your Stuff Back After a Breakup

3/1/2012 - Disney Prematurely Indefinitely Delays Controversial Fat Shameland

3/1/2012 - Frankenweenie: Now This Is What Tim Burton Is Good At

3/1/2012 - Crap Email From a Dude: Rush Limbaugh Fanboy Extravaganza Edition

3/1/2012 - Nancy Grace Goes At It With The View Panel

3/1/2012 - Senate Votes to Kill Rule That Would Allow Employers to Deny Birth Control Coverage

3/1/2012 - Neatnik Dog Always Washes Her Toys Before Leaving the Dog Park

3/1/2012 - Navajo Nation Sues Urban Outfitters Over The 'Navajo Hipster Panty'

3/1/2012 - Kids Are Eating Sugar Like It's Going Out of Style (Which It Is)

3/1/2012 - Salons Are Still Offering Brazilian Blowouts, Cancer Be Damned!

3/1/2012 - Finally, a Feminine Vodka Specially Formulated to Get Your Vagina Drunk

3/1/2012 - Watch Matt Lauer's Awkward Attempt to Bro Out with Zac Efron Over Dropped Condom

3/1/2012 - Lady Bonobos Totally Kiss and Tell

3/1/2012 - Presenting: The 50 Ugliest Baby Names

3/1/2012 - Lindsay Lohan Claims Her Love Life Is What Derailed Her Career

3/1/2012 - 41-Year-Old Teacher Shacks Up with 18-Year-Old Student, Expected Outrage Occurs

3/1/2012 - You Probably Haven’t Noticed, But You’re Getting Fat

3/1/2012 - Mitt-Flops: The Only Abortion-Themed Campaign Footwear You Need

3/1/2012 - Rich White Dudes Can Be Gropers Too

3/1/2012 - Federal Judge Sends Insanely Racist Email Implying Obama's Mom Fucked a Dog

3/1/2012 - Tim Tebow Tackles Taylor Swift's Heart