Simone Biles's Shower Is Better Than Kylie Jenner's...I Guess???

Illustration for article titled Simone Biles's Shower Is Better Than Kylie Jenner's...I Guess???
Photo: Laurence Griffiths (Getty Images)

Last week I wrote about some of the most boring celeb “news” I’ve heard in a long time: Kylie Jenner was getting “roasted” on Twitter for the shitty water pressure in her massive walk-in shower, which, as far as I can tell, is approximately the same square-footage as my Brooklyn apartment.

This week I’m devastated to report that there’s a development related to this completely contentless news item, which is that Olympic gold-medal gymnast Simone Biles would like you to know that her shower is better.

On Sunday, Biles posted a photo to her Instagram story showing a control panel to her shower, whose water temperature she’d adjusted to 118 degrees. Seems far too hot to me, but since I have absolutely no stake in this issue, I’ll give it to Biles: Her shower seems better, I guess!

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Illustration for article titled Simone Biles's Shower Is Better Than Kylie Jenner's...I Guess???
Screenshot: Simone Biles / Instagram (Fair Use)

Are Kristin Cavallari and Jay Cutler getting back together? Let’s see...

Exhibit A:

Exhibit B:

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Nothing says “getting back together, actually” like matching Instagram posts with identical captions...right?

I’m not so sure!

Cavallari announced the couple’s divorce in April, writing—also on Instagram—that their 10-year marriage had reached its “loving conclusion.” (Both titles of great Henry Green novels, by the way...) Since then, Cavallari has been notably linked to Jeff Dye, with whom People reports Cavallari has broken it off in favor of apparent “reconciliation” with Cutler. But a source has also told People that the twin Instagram posts—and Cavallari’s rumored split with Dye—don’t mean the couple is back together.

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“They are friends and single,” an anonymous source told the outlet, alleging that both Cavallari and Cutler are single.They will always have each other’s back no matter what.”

What is the truth??


  • Stars...they’re just like us...they (Kate Hudson) have fraught relationships with their fathers! [People]
  • Emily Ratajkowski is taking the JLo line and insisting that she hasn’t had any lip injections while pregnant (or ever). After examining many Google image search results, I plead the fifth. [Us Weekly]
  • So far, post-breakup Ben Affleck is exactly like pre-breakup Ben Affleck. [Page Six]

Night blogger at Jezebel with writing at The Baffler, The Nation, The New Republic, Vice, and more.

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She might not be getting injections while pregnant, but she’s definitely had them in the past. See: before and after below, plus what she looked like in the Blurred Lines video. That upper lip did not get that big on its own.