Sometimes when you mix two things that don't naturally go together, you get something magical—like salty caramels or a mule. But sometimes things go terribly wrong, and you end up with a hideous mutant. That is exactly what happened here, with this unholy combination of cargo shorts and a denim waist. (They're so ugly the guy's torso made a run for it!) There are a thousand reasons not to do this and not a single reason to do it. Yet that didn't stop the fearless souls at Dolce & Gabbana from trying this look for their Spring/Summer 2012 men's collection. Should you wish to purchase this pair of shorts to put in your cabinet of curiosities alongside your collection of deformed monkey skulls and medieval tweezers, you will have to fork over $445 for the privilege. Otherwise you could just wear some baggy cargo shorts over some tighter jean cutoffs and achieve the same extremely undesirable effect.
Oh holy hell. At first, I thought what turns out to be the jeans top was actually a shirt hanging over the cargo shorts. The reality is so much worse.
-a stonewashed (?) jean top
-cargo pockets on the flanks
-gigantic dong flap
-what appears to be parachute silk
Have I missed anything?