Here, at the end of the decade, I have a confession: I can no longer tell when celebrities are earnest, or getting paid, on Twitter. It’s probably been the long year I’ve had reporting on influencer culture, but interactions between famous people and brands generally make me overwhelmingly suspicious. There was a time I was probably inclined to believe them, but now the experience has been soured by affiliate links and Instagram’s often dubious approach to litigating undisclosed sponsorships.
Sharon Stone was probably not paid by Bumble to tweet about getting kicked off the app for looking like a fake account. The Bumble employees in her mentions are also, likely, not a part of a complicated conspiracy to get the dating app trending just in time for New Year’s Eve parties tomorrow. But in some alternate series of events elsewhere in the multiverse, that is definitely what happened! And any other time this year, the news would be unsurprising. Anyway, some context: Sharon Stone tweeted last night that her account had been closed after users reported it as suspicious. Comedy podcasters and ironic Twitter users rapidly filled her mentions with “pick me!” tweets, while others @-ed Bumble to rectify the disservice done to Sharon Stone’s many possible boyfriends.
Soon after, her tweets caught the attention of whoever was unfortunate enough to get pulled from bed by a flurry of Slack messages to fix it, before the morning news cycle devoured itself whole over it. Bumble editorial director Clare O’Connor responded, some hours later:
When several in the replies asked if this had been set up weeks in advance, or if Bumble and Stone were in cahoots with the marketing department, O’Connor replied: “Ha, I assure you we wouldn’t pick Dec 30 when the east coast is asleep if that were the case.” But actually, December 30 would be the perfect time for a nonsensical partnership: The news is slow, Page Six is winding down on mess for the year, and People’s beat reporters are busy writing about the Royals’ Christmas celebrations—still!
Oh, and here’s a relatable anecdote about this app: When I first met my husband, we were hanging out as friends. Mostly, he drove me places on our joint lunch break and would smoke me out, or buy me lunch. One day, he asked if I’d look at his Bumble profile because he “wasn’t sure” if it was up to snuff. I still have no idea how the app is supposed to work in the first place—and am not sure if I was conscious of what I was doing—but I quickly grabbed his phone, and somehow made his profile worse than before. A week later, he texted me that he had received fewer messages than ever. Our coworker, and his friend, also texted me: “Haha, I know what you’re doing.” Anyway, we started dating a few weeks later. [The Guardian]
Did you know that Luann De Lesseps was previously a nurse—although, not the one that ex-Tom D’Agostino first fell in love with? Page Six reports that Luann was seen at a hospital in Huntington, New York shortly before her cabaret show Saturday, passing out toys to children. Good for her! Sources claim she even visited a child in quarantine for 15 minutes, which seems like a sweet thing to do, and also spent some time “bonding with hospital workers.” What exactly this means is unclear, but spies tell the outlet she handed out 20 tickets to her show at the Paramount Theatre. Sounds like a totally normal time!
Just a few days prior, De Lesseps was seen on Instagram playing a game of Twister. She captioned the experience: “It’s game night; never count out Twister. Who wants to play?” Metaphorically, it’s a bit on the nose considering the year she’s had (legally speaking), and there’s no word yet on whether she offered to play with the Long Island nurses. Maybe next Christmas! [Page Six]
Normally, this would warrant a blurb. But it’s my last Dirt Bag of the year and I am feeling exceedingly charitable, and mostly relieved at this news: Kaia Gerber was NOT photographed with probable incubi and alleged big-dick haver Pete Davidson over the Christmas holiday. DailyMail reports that when asked by paparazzi if she seen Pete the last week, Gerber responded that she “spent the holiday with the family.”
Last week, parents Cindy Crawford and tequila baron Rande Gerber were spotted outside Kaia’s luxe New York apartment, freaking out over a conversation Rande allegedly had with Pete Davidson. The conversation seemed to include an anecdote about Davidson “freaking out” and “scratching his eyes” shortly before leaving the apartment. The word “rehab” was also reportedly overheard, as well as Rande’s insistence that Davidson “needs help, my God.” All the while, photographs from the paparazzi show Crawford looking stressed with her mouth agape.
It is currently unclear what transpired in the apartment between Rande, Kaia, and Davidson. DailyMail reports that the comedian has previously been open about his struggles with mental health and addiction. Sources, meanwhile, have insisted that Rande and Crawford are unhappy with the relationship. Amidst the altercation, Radar suggested that Davidson is “using Kaia for publicity,” and “shamelessly dropping Kaia’s name as a way into all the celeb parties to schmooze with the big Hollywood producers.” How Gerber, or her parents, have enough pull in Hollywood to sway major producers—considering their fashion background—confounds me. [DailyMail]
Zac Efron is doing fine.
- Please stop asking Anna Paquin about her seven-word role in The Irishman. She’s doing fine, is totally ok with it, and really doesn’t need people “fighting a fight” on her behalf. She promises! Paquin is fine with it. Totally fine! How much more fine could she possibly be? [Page Six]
- Madonna met her 25-year-old boyfriend’s family, which is supposedly a big deal for everyone involved. [TMZ]
- Nobody cared that Caitlyn Jenner was on that one competition game show. Sad! [Just Jared]
- Some soccer people got married. [People]
- Lindsay Lohan can’t stop sending Liam Hemsworth thirsty Instagram comments. [Hollywood Life]
- Hockey makes Justin Bieber horny. [ET]
- Someone come get Florence Pugh, please. [Page Six]