Sex Toy Company Offers Justin Bieber Cold Hard Cash to Turn His Penis Into a Dildo

In “things that should never happen and probably never will” news, Justin Bieber’s oversized member (or “OMG,” as it is referred to among the well-read) has caught the attention of Clone-A-Willy, a sex toy company that helps people make fully-functional replicas of their sexual organs. The company is offering Bieber a million dollars to advertise the product. But this isn’t just for Clone-A-Willy’s gain; the company says they’re doing it to help Bieber promote his music.

Putting aside the fact that Bieber is already a millionaire and probably won’t agree to this campaign unless his dad calls him up to talk him into it, this would be a bad idea for a multitude of reasons. Even though Clone-A-Willy is only asking Bieber to advertise their product and not make it into a sex toy for mass production (although he will allegedly have to make a mold, according to The Daily Dot), I can’t imagine this happening. Considering how upset Bieber said he was about the naked pictures, it doesn’t seem like he’d be jumping at the opportunity to put his penis on worldwide display.

Here’s an excerpt from the letter Clone-A-Willy sent Bieber, via The Huffington Post:

“Justin Bieber, he’s popular, talented and now as the entire world knows … quite well-endowed. You can only imagine … a huge billboard of Justin Bieber and “Clone-A-Willy” in West Hollywood. It would surely do wonders to help promote his new album and certainly wouldn’t hurt his “dating” life.

“We know that Justin is a big celebrity and our offer is commiserate [sic] with someone of his enormous stature,” the letter continues. “We are offering Mr. Bieber a million dollars to endorse ‘Clone-A-Willy.’ “

The company hasn’t yet received a response from Bieber or his agent. Fortunately for them, the publicity they’ll be getting from involving one of the biggest celebrities in the world (I know, but his newest stuff is really good) in a thirsty ploy for publicity will probably be worth just as much as the million dollars they’re promising to shell out for a replica of Bieber’s Bieber.