Sex-Ed Site Teaches College Women Perils Of Drinking, Sex, Education

Illustration for article titled Sex-Ed Site Teaches College Women Perils Of Drinking, Sex, Education

Jessica from Feministing has dug up what is possibly the worst sex-education website ever. Titled "Sense and Sexuality," the pink-and-flowery page is a mess of misinformation, misleading "facts," and a giant, heaping dose of shame.

Unsurprisingly, "Sense and Sexuality" was created by the Clare Boothe Luce Policy Institute, which claims on their website to offer the "leading resource for advice, training, and guidance of young conservative women" (the anti-feminist organization also famously encouraged their members to boycott and protest Ensler's play The Vagina Monologues). Their newest effort is the aforementioned craptastic website, based almost entirely on the work of Dr. Mariam Grossman. Grossman is a psychiatrist and author of the book Unprotected. She also has her own website, where she calls herself "100% M.D. 0% PC" and explains her mission: "I am here to tell you that radical politics pervades healthcare, and common sense has vanished. Who's paying the highest price? Girls and women."


"Sense and Sexuality" takes up Grossman's task of protecting women from themselves and the horrible choices they are bound to make, given the chance, and runs with it. The result is a website that is geared toward college students and claims to provide the "scientific facts" about sex, but only offers little blurbs about how having sex will ruin your life. A section titled "The Facts" features several sentences about convenient studies, mixed with "advice" that read like an order from Big Brother: "The rectum is an exit, not an entrance. Anal penetration is hazardous. Don't do it." And in case you were wondering, oral sex is also out. The scare tactics don't stop there. Sex will also make you depressed ("As the number of casual sex partners in the past year increased, so did signs of depression in college women"), alcohol will make you sleep with gross dudes ("Did you hear? Science has confirmed the existence of 'beer goggles'-when a person seems more attractive to you after you've had a few drinks. Enjoy a glass of wine or a couple of beers at a party, and the guy hitting on you begins to look better than when you arrived...In the morning, you both look different") and getting a Ph.D. will fill you with the horrible emptiness of a barren woman ("It saddens me each time a patient describes this-typically a student who always put career first, and is finally getting a Ph.D. at 38 or 40. She's thrilled to reach that milestone, but aches for another: to feel a new life inside her, to give birth").

One of the best (worst) quotes follows the question "Why can't I stop thinking about the guy I hooked up with last night when he can't remembers my name?" Grossman's answer? Oxytocin (see, they said there would be science!). Oxytocin apparently turns girls into needy messes while having absolutely no effect on men: "When it comes to sex, oxytocin, like alcohol, turns red lights green. It plays a major role in what's called 'the biochemistry of attachment.' Because of it, you could develop feelings for a guy whose last intention is to bond with you. You might think of him all day, but he can't remember your name." For all their claims that this is a "scientific" website, willing to tell you the hard facts where no one else will, this is about as science-y as it gets.

The most frustrating thing about the website is that it offers absolutely no advice beyond just say no! According to "Sense and Sexuality," condoms are bad, birth control is worse, and men are never, ever to be trusted. Sex will lead to heartbreak, infertility, and genital sores. That's it. "Sense and Sexuality" offers no other options the college-aged women they claim they want to help. There isn't even a mention of how sex can be positive within the bounds of marriage. The message here isn't wait until you're ready but instead sex is dangerous, bad, and you should be ashamed of yourself, young lady! "Sense and Sexuality" allows absolutely no sex, not now, not ever, and offers even less sense.

Sex & Sensuality: New Anti-Sex Website Shames Young Women [Feministing]
Sense And Sexuality [Official Site]
Miriam Grossman [Official Site]

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On the oxytocin thing: After a decade of dating, I can't deal with this trope. As many times as I've liked a guy more than he's liked me, the reverse as been true. It's a reality of dating that often one person is more into it than the other. Obviously the odds of that go up with a drunken hook-up, because your information levels are lower and your inhibitions are down. That doesn't make a drunken hook-up bad. I have done lots of things in my 20s that didn't work out the way I had hoped (exhibit #1: law school). Yes, in a way these are "mistakes". But without them I doubt I wouldn't have found my path. Sleeping with or dating guys who later turned out not even to like me that much wasn't exactly awesome, but it helped me realize what I wanted and needed from a guy, and ultimately helped me build self-esteem. And guess what — most of my guy friends went through the exact same thing. Fuck oxytocin.