Twenty-one year old Jasmine Tridevil—probably not her real name—reportedly spent $20,000 on plastic surgery to implant a third breast on her body.
The massage therapist from Tampa, Florida told Real Radio 104.1 that she went through the the surgery because she's hoping to land a reality show with MTV and to ward off men. "I got it because I wanted to make myself unattractive to men. Because I don't want to date anymore," she explained.
Right. Questions—I have some.
1) Is this real?
I hope this is not real, it would be wonderful if this were not real. We've got enough to tackle in the world right now and I'm just not sure that we have the bandwidth to facilitate the existence of a three breasted woman.
2) Is this a Jimmy Kimmel prank?
Let's be honest, Jimmy Kimmel got us pretty good with that "Twerking FAIL" hoax. The fall television season is just starting. There are ratings to chase after. It all would make sense.
3) What doctor would do this?
Tridevil claims that she contacted "50 or 60 doctors" about performing the surgery because nobody wanted to do it which, DUH GIRL. She says that the doctors were worried about violating their code of ethics, which, again, I HOPE WE ARE EXPECTED TO BE SHOCKED BY THIS NEWS.
4) Won't this just make men like her more?
Men love breasts. Men also love unrealistic expectations about the female body. This kind of seems right up their alley.
5) Would you hire this woman to be your massage therapist?
I'm just saying that if her dream of being a reality star doesn't work out, homegirl is still going to need to make a living.
6) Are you as ashamed as I am that you would probably definitely watch this reality show?
Or least her inevitable episode of Botched?
7) Is Angela Basset at all perturbed that his woman stole her fictional American Horror Story: Freak Show three breasted steeze?
I dunno, guys. I'm skeptical but stranger things have happened. George Clooney is getting married! Sarah Palin was almost the Vice President of America. It wouldn't be the craziest thing in the world. Beside, the most believable thing about this this story is that she's from Florida.
I spoke with Dr. Mossi Salibian, an attending plastic surgeon at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles and a member of the hospital's multidisciplinary breast expert team, and he said that while implanting a third breast is technically possible, he doesn't believe any doctors would perform the surgery. "There are many things that are possible, but that doesn't mean we would do it," he said.
He also doesn't believe that the surgery, which would need to be done in stages through a series of multiple procedures, would be safe for the patient. "Our first concern is patient safety," he said.
Like many of us, Dr. Salibian suggests that if the story is true, Jasmine Tridevil probably has some other issues she might need to sort out: "That person needs help not by a plastic surgeon, if you know what I mean."
Images via Facebook.