September Smackdown: Allure Vs. Lucky

Illustration for article titled September Smackdown: Allure Vs. Lucky

Allure is the obvious underdog in today's fight. It's puny compared to the formidable Lucky, and although it bills itself as "The Beauty Expert," it has neglected to provide prices for many of its beauty products. Will Allure psych out its powerful opponent and pull off an unexpected win (like in so many Disney sports movies)? Or will its carelessness with lip gloss and foundation lead to its downfall (like at so many high school dances)? Find out after the jump.


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Illustration for article titled September Smackdown: Allure Vs. Lucky

Allure Apparel: $220,751 (most expensive item: Roberto Cavalli suede-and-lapin-lapis-and-lince [does anyone else think this sounds like some medieval spell?] fur coat, $20,275; least expensive: cotton nylon skirt, forever21.com, $19.80; average price: $2,299) Accessories: $149,483 (most expensive item: Stephen Dweck sterling-silver necklace with citrine and horn, $19,200; least expensive: Rose rubber and crystal flip-flops, shopjamiekreitman.com, $55; average price: $1,643) Beauty: $2,788 (most expensive item: tie between coloring services at Sally Hershberger Downtown and coloring services at Garren New York, both $300; least expensive: Crest Weekly Clean Intensive Cleaning Paste, $3.99; average price: $116) [Allure had no "other" items.] Total Shit: $373,022 Average: $1,768

Illustration for article titled September Smackdown: Allure Vs. Lucky

Lucky Apparel: $167,384 (most expensive item: Gucci viscose "Tasha" dress, $4,760; least expensive: tights, kushyfoot.com, $8; average price: $394) Accessories: $155,608 (most expensive item: Gucci 18k gold charm bracelet, $5,050; least expensive: grosgrain belt, forever21.com, $7; average price: $408) Beauty: $4,613 (most expensive item: Paul Mitchell Express 10n v.1 Dryer, $199; least expensive: Wet n Wild Silk Finish Lipstick, $2; average price: $26) Other: $4,667 (most expensive item: tie between Garmin Navi 760 GPS and Samsung LN22A451 LCD HDTV [fewer letters next time, Samsung, kthxbai], both $600; least expensive: La Vie de la Vosgienne Lemon Drops, $3; average price: $272) Total Shit: $332,272 Average: $332 Yes! Even with no "other" items and a poor showing in what should have been its strongest category, Allure comes from behind to vanquish Lucky, whose lowered total and average reveal it to be a plebeian publication by comparison. It's like when the Mighty Ducks transformed themselves from a ragtag bunch of loser kids into hockey champions! Except with more tinted moisturizer. Winner: Allure

DISCUSSION

badmutha
badmutha

I'm so asking my inlaws for the Samsung LN22A451 LCD HDTV this Christmas just to freak them out. "What the hell are all those letters for? Is it a typewriter?"