Ha! "Mary Parise, 89, avoided being committed to an elder-care facility until just last week, when her children discovered her down-home turns of phrase were in fact the senseless ramblings of a senile woman." [Onion]
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Well, that story's funnier than a passel of cat stuffing brewed in a hopscotch mixed with a bag of Legos! I just love it here on whoresrus.com.