Self help.

This image was lost some time after publication.

You know what it's like. You spend the first six months of your relationship drunk, and by the time you sober up and realize he's crap in bed, you've been faking more in hope than in expectation and it's a wee bit late to say anything. What to do?

Buy Self magazine this month, for "a radical re-thinking of the way you play that will bring you immense satisfaction". The answer? Explore massage. Concentrate on foreplay. Don't have sex at all under any circumstances, blah blah blah, the usual stuff, none of which you'll ever do because it won't make any difference because he's crap in bed. And crap in bed is crap in bed for a reason. He wouldn't know sensual if it walked up and smacked him with a sign saying "Hi! I'm Sensual!", and all the Self articles in the world won't teach him, so make your decision. Put up with it and hope he doesn't run off with a pneumatic dental nurse in 20 years time, or ditch him and join a fetish club to explore what you really really want.


The article quotes a study that says 33% of women rarely or never climax during intercourse:

"This may be because the female orgasm doesn't appear to serve any evolutionary purpose and is irrelevant to reproduction."

Alternatively, it may just be because men are crap in bed.

Hey. I'm just putting it out there.....


Share This Story