Secret US-China Climate Deal Sounds Romantic As Hell

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The United States and China have just committed to work together on reducing carbon emissions. Which is major—it’s pretty much impossible to make meaningful progress on climate change without the two nations presenting a united front, and if we don’t make meaningful progress on climate change, humanity is pretty much boned.

But there’s… an undercurrent to this New York Times piece about the deal, which, like a pregnancy, took nine months to negotiate. Basically, it sounds like the United States and China have been courting in semi-secret and now they’re standing in the parlor, informing everyone of their engagement:

On Tuesday evening, Mr. Xi invited Mr. Obama to dinner at his official residence, telling his guest he hoped they had laid the foundation for a collaborative relationship — or, as he more metaphorically put it, “A pool begins with many drops of water.”
Greeting Mr. Obama at the gate of the walled leadership compound next to the Forbidden City, Mr. Xi squired him across a brightly lighted stone bridge and into the residence. Mr. Obama told the Chinese president that he wanted to take the relationship “to a new level.”

“A collaborative relationship.” “Squired him.” “Take the relationship to a new level.” I’m hearing a mashup between “Going Courtin” and “Surrey With The Fringe On Top” and imagining these guys holding hands and smiling bashfully at each other while delivering news of their engagement to their parents. And this photo choice—it looks like a candid shot from an engagement party:

This’ll show everyone who doubted their love could flourish (via Mother Jones):

YOUR MOVE, MR. PUTIN.

Image via Getty.

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