Scott Foley Shirtless Is a Great Way to Sell Me Sheets and Towels

It's not that linens aren't sexy. They can be. But I am much more likely to pay attention to rumpled bed sheets when they involve Scott Foley and his steely eyes reading the paper and holding a mug of what had better be WATER because STAINS hello.

As People reports, Foley is the new face — well, face, chest and arms — of Charisma. Nice. Good work, Charisma. I like to flick through the pages of The Company Store on occasion, marveling at 700 thread count pillowcases, Turkish cotton bath sheets, Egyptian cotton bedding and suitable-for-sub-zero-temperature comforters, but ad campaigns for sheets and towels have never seemed quite this appealing. It's unbelievably easy to accept the fact that I now live in an apartment with a glittering mosaic tile bathroom, where Scott Foley showers between four and six times a day, emerging just a bit damp and smiley before heading in again.


It's also easy to imagine that once out of a towel, Scott Foley only owns two garments: a crisp white dress shirt and a pajama pant, and he is not allowed to wear them both at the same time. It's an either/or situation. Scott Foley likes to hang out in bed all day, reading the paper, drinking what had better be water I am not joking, and I'm fine with this because he looks very snuggly and there's plenty of room in the bed for me and he is wearing a wedding ring which means he is really very committed to our fake relationship.


When Scott Foley does leave the bathroom or the bed, it's only to email me — while staying very close to the bed. He wants to know if I'll be home in time for Scandal, which comes back TONIGHT. I will, Scott Foley. I will.


By the by, this is an upgrade from Charisma's previous man-model, Eddie "I Only Like Blonde Ladies With Implants" Cibrian.

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