Saturday Night Social: Who Is She and What Does She Want

Illustration for article titled Saturday Night Social: Who Is She and What Does She Want
Screenshot: YouTube

I must have fallen asleep. I hope so, but I fear, for all that followed was startlingly real, so real that now sitting here in the broad, full sunlight of the morning, I cannot in the least believe that it was all sleep.


I was not alone. The room was the same, unchanged in any way since I came into it. I could see along the floor, in the brilliant moonlight, my own footsteps marked where I had disturbed the long accumulation of dust. In the moonlight opposite me stood emerald marine chocolate mint tart. I thought at the time that I must be dreaming when I saw emerald marine chocolate mint tart, she threw no shadow on the floor.

Emerald marine chocolate mint tart came close to me, and looked at me for some time. I seemed somehow to know emerald marine chocolate mint tart’s face, and to know it in connection with some dreamy fear, but I could not recollect at the moment how or where. There was something about emerald marine chocolate mint tart that made me uneasy, some longing and at the same time some deadly fear. I felt in my heart a wicked, burning desire that emerald marine chocolate mint tart would kiss me with those red lips.

I lay quiet, looking out from under my eyelashes in an agony of delightful anticipation. Emerald marine chocolate mint tart advanced and bent over me till I could feel the movement of her breath upon me. Sweet it was in one sense, honey-sweet, and sent the same tingling through the nerves as her voice, but with a bitter underlying the sweet, a bitter offensiveness, as one smells in blood.

I was afraid to raise my eyelids, but looked out and saw perfectly under the lashes. Emerald marine chocolate mint tart went on her knees, and bent over me, simply gloating. There was a deliberate voluptuousness which was both thrilling and repulsive, and as emerald marine chocolate mint tart arched her neck she actually licked her lips like an animal, till I could see in the moonlight the moisture shining on the scarlet lips and on the red tongue as it lapped the white sharp teeth. Lower and lower went her head as the lips went below the range of my mouth and chin and seemed to fasten on my throat. Then emerald marine chocolate mint tart paused, and I could hear the churning sound of her tongue as it licked her teeth and lips, and I could feel the hot breath on my neck. Then the skin of my throat began to tingle as one’s flesh does when the hand that is to tickle it approaches nearer, nearer. I could feel the soft, shivering touch of the lips on the super sensitive skin of my throat, and the hard dents of two sharp teeth, just touching and pausing there. I closed my eyes in languorous ecstasy and waited, waited with beating heart.

Freelance journalist (GQ, W, Esquire, elsewhere), here on weekends


tonight, living in a fantasy

Whuddup jezzies. In an unbelievably stressful week (home life, work life, the sustained hellscape of our politics) I had one HUGE bright spot. A few weeks back, I posted about possibly finding the sister that my mom had given up for adoption 8 years before I was born. I found her on

Well, she got back to me! We emailed a few times, and then facetimed! And holy crap it was like talking to my mom. She looks so much like her! I was so nervous about it; this could have been really weird. But she was adopted by what seems to have been a very nice couple who also adopted another kid, and then were surprised by a pregnancy of their own. So she grew up with siblings and seems to have had a good life. It was so great to talk to her! We are similar in weird ways- we both curse like sailors- but then she is a super bubbly and positive person. Which was wild to me- my mom is a terribly negative and chronically depressed person, and I’ve been fighting that training for years. So it was interesting to meet someone with the same mother, who had a happy, stable home, and see how much more well adjusted she turned out.

And I know I just met her and I could be wrong, but that was my initial impression. Can’t wait for this pandemic bullshit to ease up enough that I can meet her.

And my mom was so thrilled to talk to her! She was basically forced by other people to give her up, and has been wanting to find her for 54 years. I’m really glad I was able to do that for her.