Sarah Palin Resumes Bus Tour, Hopes To Distract Nation From Actual Candidates

Just when you thought it was safe to wander the streets of America with a yoga mat tucked under your arm and a Starbucks cup in your hand, Sarah Palin has started revving the engine of her Constitution-strewn bus. Unsurprisingly, the announcement that she’s taking her bus tour to Iowa includes a dig at all the fried-food-on-a-stick-hating liberals posing as Americans.

Palin wrote in an email to SarahPAC supporters:

We are very happy to jump back on the bus for another leg of our “One Nation Tour”! We accept with gratefulness an invitation to meet folks at the Iowa State Fair in Des Moines this week. The heartland is perfect territory for more of the One Nation Tour as we put forth efforts to revitalize the fundamental restoration of America by highlighting our nation’s heart, history, and founding principles.

In a grossly weakened economy – especially when recovery is thwarted by today’s Obamanomics – prudent Americans make sensible decisions to live within their means. This includes seeking affordable participation in more community events, local patriotic parades, and traditional all-American venues like state fairs. State fairs hold a special place in our nation’s history and heritage, so my family is honored to highlight one of them on one stop along the One Nation Tour route – America’s historic Iowa State Fair! (I’m also excited to try some of that famous fried butter-on-a-stick, fried cheesecake-on-a-stick, fried twinkies, etc. I’ll enjoy them in honor of those who’d rather make us just “eat our peas”!)

As you’ll recall, Palin temporarily suspended her Moronic Mystery Tour in June to serve jury duty (or perhaps she learned that Mercede Johnston was about to engage in some epic shit-talking and needed to be at home among her bumpits). Now it’s back on, just in time to screw with Republicans who are actually running. Previously, Palin caused a distraction on the day Mitt Romney announced his candidacy by concluding her tour in New Hampshire. Then she stole Michele Bachmann’s thunder by attending the premiere of her documentary The Undefeated in Iowa one day after Bachmann announced she was running in the state.

It seems that in addition to satisfying her craving for fried Twinkies and folksiness, her surprise appearance at the Iowa State Fair is meant to draw attention away from the winner of the Ames Straw Poll and Rick Perry, who’s expected to announce he’s running on Saturday in South Carolina. The Alaska Dispatch notes, “Whatever weaknesses Palin may have as a politician, timing isn’t one of them.”

Sarah Palin Will Resume Her ‘One Nation’ Bus Tour In Iowa Next Week [Alaska Dispatch]

Earlier: Mercede Johnston, Shit-Talker Extraordinaire
Palin Puts Bus Tour On Hiatus, Criticizes Fox News