Yes, I thought Jesse James had gotten himself into more Nazi uniform-related trouble when I read the headline, too, but it turns out that he was involved in an errant car race, not in the more-expected racism.
- James wasn’t hurt in the Baja, Mexico truck crash. Apparently he was 160 miles into a 1,000-plus mile truck race through the desert? I’m confused. Was he trying to make a douchebags-only version of the California Love video and call it “Baja California Love”? [Contact Miusic]
- Angelina Jolie has reportedly banned Thanksgiving from her home because of all that genocide that the white settlers did to the Indians. I would love it if I could go through one day of my life without Angelina Jolie making me feel like an asshole. [Hollywood Life]
- Lady Gaga spends like 14 grand on lingerie and reportedly only wears custom-made skivvies. OMG. Weird Rich Lady Does Weird Expensive Thing! Stop the presses! [Digital Spy]
- Billy Joel healing after getting both hips replaced. Best wishes to the singer for a speedy recovery, but not too speedy, as working too hard can reportedly give you a heart attack ack ack ack ack ack ack. [The Star]
- Justin Bieber reportedly makes more than $350,000 for every concert he plays, which means he out earns Weezer, Sheryl Crow, and Bret Michaels. Yeah, but what about people who don’t suck? (Woo! High fives for my sick Thanksgiving morning burn!) [Daily Express]
- The always-somehow-relevant-yet-never-really-seeming-to-do-much-in-the-way-of-actual-acting-slash-singing Jessica Simpson makes some coy remarks about her not being pregnant… yet. Oh! Intrigue! But when she is pregnant, by gum she better immediately update the world of the status of her Ladycave. As a woman in public, she totally owes us unfettered access to her reproductive status. [Showbiz Spy]
- Jessica Simpson won’t be getting pregnant today, as she is having a meatless Thanksgiving. Heh. Meatless. [Perez]
- Lindsay Lohan has been released from rehab for Thanksgiving. I’m really curious to see how she can figure out a way to mess up her life in the several dozens of free hours she’s been allowed. The woman’s getting in trouble skills are impressive and unparalleled; I’d even go so far to say she’is the McGyver of fucking up. [Contact Music]
- Jennifer Grey has thoughts about Dancing With The Stars; my attention span did not allow me to finish the article, so I hope the thoughts were what I think they were (“Follow the stars! Reach for your dreams! Believe in your precious moments of televised dance contest success! Palins always come in second, even when the voting system is rigged in their favor!”) rather than really deep, awesome shit. [Contact Music]
- A Daily Show writer is developing CBS sitcom, which, not surprisingly at all, is about a white dude who has white dude problems. [Digital Spy]
- Kylie Minogue is going release greatest hits album. I heard that if you mute the film Burlesque and start playing Kylie Minogue’s Greatest Hits 30 seconds after the opening of the film, Liberace rises from the dead and makes it rain rainbow glitter in your living room. [Contact Music]
- Today we celebrate one year of knowing too much about Tiger Woods‘s wayward penis and the women who have slobbered upon it. [Daily Caller]
- Halle Berry‘s uterus held a press conference wherein it announced that it would like to have someone put a baby in it again. [Contact Music]
- The episode of Glee featuring Britney Spears reportedly drew complaints from some viewers who found the show sexually inappropriate. The viewers apparently do not know how to read and were unaware that the dude who created Glee also created Nip/Tuck, which once featured a storyline about prostitutes illegally harvesting organs after hours in a Miami plastic surgery clinic. Keep being concerned about The Children, Maude Flanderses of the world. [Contact Music]
- Kanye West and Kung Fu Panda are starring in this year’s Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. I’M HAPPY FOR YOU PANDA AND IMMA LET YOU FINISH, BUT SIBERIAN TIGERS ARE THE BEST ENDANGERED SPECIES OF ALL TIME. OF ALL TIME. [CBS]
- Kanye reportedly ranted for 9 minutes at a New York concert last night. I’m just curious as to who discerns when Kanye ends one rant and begins another, because as far as I can see it, dude’s been ranting pretty much nonstop since about 2005, so wouldn’t last night’s shenanigans be better classified as 9 minutes of slightly louder than normal ranting? [The Star]
- Ice-T has hinted that he’d like to see a romance on Law & Order: SVU. First of all, there’s already plenty of romance on that show in the form of the weird sexual tension between Chris Meloni and the actress who plays his daughter. Second, if Ice-T’s wife Coco isn’t involved in the romance, then cancel my ticket for the SVU romance train. [Digital Spy]
- Anne Hathaway would love to do a Broadway musical, but only if Broadway stops being terrible. What, Anne, turning your nose up at such acting tours de force as Shrek: The Musical! and The Adams Family? With that kind of attitude, I wouldn’t be surprised when the geniuses behind Spiderman: Gay! don’t come calling. [Showbiz Spy]
- Nicky Minaj says her new album is “for everyone.” Nicky Minaj apparently doesn’t realize that “everyone” includes the Pope, my grandma, and people who have ears. [Digital Spy]
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