You know what happens when the government de-funds its space program and encourages private sector entrepreneurs to lead the way to the next frontier? People decide to build space station strip clubs, capable not only of orbiting the earth but also, according to Playboy writers A.J. Baime and Jason Harper, traveling "around other celestial bodies." If I knew, as a young, aspiring astronaut/X-Wing fighter pilot, that our first exports to other star systems would be g-strings, overpriced cocktails, misogyny, and shame, I would have aspired to be something useful, like a firefighter.
A strip club space station is still, like all other extravagant manifestations of space travel, the stuff of artist renditions, but Playboy has teamed up with Richard Branson's rocketeering gentleman's club Virgin Galactic to produce some fanciful designs for the magazine's March issue. Playboy's space station could include a zero gravity dance club, a casino featuring something the Daily Mail describes horrifically as "human roulette," a fine dining restaurant (a space Hooter's), and a quiet corner for former astronauts to hang themselves in. Should we start taking bets on what happens first — Mars mission or the Playboy upside-down boob club? The safe money, unfortunately, might be on the strip club.
Playboy and Virgin Galactic Dream Up Cosmic Men's Space Club [Live Science]
One small step for porn: Playboy to plan a strip club in space [Daily Mail]