Ryan Gosling kisses you, courtesy of this magical photo website, KissingRyan.com. I couldn't get mine to work because I fail at every possible aspect of technology, even ones so simple an infant, blindly stabbing at a keyboard could make them work. But nope. Not me. All I got was a blank screen, otherwise I would have shared my picture of Ryan Gosling kissing me with all you readers here tonight.

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the little trainwreck that absolutely could not

Nope, that's one step too far.