Russian Miracle Baby Celebrated With Prayers, Shrine • Bride Slaps Around Spanish Cop

Illustration for article titled Russian Miracle Baby Celebrated With Prayers, Shrine • Bride Slaps Around Spanish Cop

• Hundreds of Muslim pilgrims have lined up to catch a glimpse of this Russian baby, who supposedly has verses from the Koran inscribed on his leg, which appear and fade every few days. •

• New data from Britain shows that the number of violent crimes committed by women has risen 81% in the last decade. Conservative politicians suggest that this is directly linked to a rise in binge drinking, which doesn't fully explain why the article is illustrated with a picture of a woman passed out drunk on a park bench. • A woman spent her wedding night in a Spanish jail cell after she grabbed a cop by his neck and slapped him. The police officer was attempting to break up a fight that had broken out between members of the bride's family and relatives of the groom. We think this would make a great (read: horrible) rom-com, very Bridezillas meets Romeo and Juliet. • According to a recent study, pregnant lesbians are sick of being treated differently than heterosexual mothers. Researchers found that most lesbian couples have felt frustrated at some point or another with the uncomfortable way that midwives and doctors dealt with them. • Experts have disproved claims that Ida, a fossil recently discovered in Germany, was the missing piece that would link the evolutionary roots of monkeys, apes, and humans. In fact, Ida is the "about as far removed from the monkey-ape-human ancestry as a primate could be." •

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I've only learned two things from these kinds of religious appearances over the years:

Jesus is one ugly mofo, and Mohammed has terrible penmanship. #miraclebaby