Roy Moore Trots to the Polls, Unclear When the Other 3 Horsemen Will Arrive

Racist, sexist accused child molester and Alabama Senate candidate Roy Moore rode his horse Sassy to the polls today in a last-minute attempt to perform his weird brand of neo-Confederate masculinity. War, Famine and Death were reportedly close behind, am I right y’all?!?! Anyone seen Ryan Zinke?

Moore apparently rides his horse to the polls every time he votes, but it seems like maybe those are the only times he gets in the saddle, as my esteemed colleague’s tweets suggest:

Granted, horses don’t typically love large crowds of reporters pressing in on them, but this is a damn mess:

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I’ll keep Sassy—and the fate of mankind—in my prayers.